Was Rape...told boyfriend i cheated to get away

I was raped last year. When it happened i didn’t know what to do or how to think. I was in a 4 year relationship. A couple days after it happened I just randomly told my bf i cheated. Till this day i still don’t know why i did that. I honestly i think because i was ashamed and for some reason it just felt like it was easier to say. I wanted to work it out and i told him no i needed to work on myself. Not to long ago i reached out to him and told him i still love him. I told him i wanted to work on us again and he’s not to sure because he still believes i cheated. I want to come clean and tell him why i left and what really happened to me but I’m scared he wouldn’t believe me or think I’m just trying to do whatever to get him back. But i really did just needed to deal with what had happened to me and i didn’t how to tell him. Any advice to what i should say or anything...i told him i needed to tell him the complete truth and we are supposed t meet up Tuesday. Guys he’s the love of my life and best friend...thanks!