Exactly 19 months after losing our little girl, we’re here! I’m surprisingly optimistic about this pregnancy though. I thought I’d have a panic attack at the doctor, but I was really calm. I think my doctor cried more than I did today😂😂😂 So my appointment goes like this: *Walks into office and completes the Covid screening* “Hey is Steffany in today?” Nurses look around frantically 😳 “I think so?!” Me 😅 *Thank God because I hate the other doctor.* “Okay because I need to be seen and I don’t have an appointment.” Compliment the receptionist on her fly new do! Exchange ids and triage paperwork. “You know the drill Mrs. Ma’am!” I take a seat and fill out my paperwork as if it’ll help me get seen any faster😒 Turn it in and take my number. Sit back down and scroll through Facebook. *Listening to Jhene Aiko to calm my nerves and tune out the lady next to me snoring 😴 I hope they hurry up!* “Patient number 22 to adult intake.” Prancing through the intake door. “Hello! What are you here to see us for today?” Passes me my ids. “I’m PREGNANT!!!” *Smiling like a dang fool under this mask 😷😆😅* “Uh oh!” 😬 “Not an uh oh, an oh yeah! We’ve been trying for almost 3 years and we lost our little girl at 7 and a half months.” I can instantly see the triage nurses face melt into joy and concern. “ So I’m pregnant and I need to confirm the 7 test I’ve taken already!” “I’d be excited too then! It shouldn’t take too long for her to get you back there.” Walks back into the waiting room and turn my music back on. One FOREVER later 😒 “#22?” *Practically floating to the scale.* “What are you here for today?” “I’m pregnant 😏” I hear my doctor go nuh uh. 😂😂🤣 *Sidestepping the MA as Steffany runs from around the corner and bear hugs/spins me around* “I know we’re supposed to be socially distant but fuck all of that! I could just cry! My heart is bursting for you!” As she’s squishing my face and squeezing my hand. “I have a bag full of pee tests 😂😂 I’m keeping everything because this is my last baby.” 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 “I love that! I know you’re sooo happy. Okay sister get weighed and I’ll be with you shortly!” Explaining to the MA the same thing I explained to the triage nurse. *🙄 Where are my regular nurses at because I’m over this and I wanted them to share in my excitement as well.* “Well we’re gonna get one more pee test then!” Gives me THE cup and directs me to my room. Sits bag down and glides into the restroom. *I hope I can get enough pee in this cup. I should’ve held it until I got here🤦🏽‍♀️* Pulls cup out and surprised it’s half full 😲 Finish up my restroom business and bounce into my exam room toting THE cup like it’s gold. Gently places it on the puppy pad 🤣 Two FOREVERS later. “When was the first day of your last period?” As she’s opening up a pee package and delicately placing THREE drops of pee on the cassette😒 “It was the 1st of the month.” 🎶 Proceeds to do the rest of my triage and ignore my attempt at a joke. “She’ll be in here with you soon.” *Is she going to tell me that it’s positive or not 💁🏽‍♀️* 😒🤨 “Is it positive?!!!” “Oh yeah. It’s just really light because you’re still so early 😅” Let’s her leave out of the room and instantly start breaking down 😭😭😭 Listening to them mumble, takes picture of test, send it to my parentals and his mom. *Pull yourself together woman. You weren’t going to be magically unpregnant between 3:35 a.m. and 11:15 a.m. 🤦🏽‍♀️* Overhear Steffany saying 3 weeks 4days?! 😶😶😯 *WTH. Who finds out this early😑 Of course you do woman. You ALWAYS do.* “Okay Sister! 😃You’re 3 weeks 4 days....” Proceeds to tell me what’s normal and what I need to pay attention to over the next couple of weeks. “I’m gonna get you back in about 4 weeks and we’ll start your OB care and do all of your labs/exams at that visit. I called in your prescription across the street to our pharmacy so you can go straight home from here. Congratulations 🎊🎉” Smiling even harder at the triage nurse. “Congratulations 🎊” “You can see my smile can’t you?!” Nodding her head profusely and smiling just as hard as me. Gets appointment scheduled and leaves the office.

I promise you I don’t remember my feet touching the ground until I was back inside my car!