What do you guys think

So 95% of the time me and my husband have an amazing relationship...the 5% we don't always involves sex. He would have sex 2 or 3 times a day every day. I could go months without but we do a few things a week still. If life comes up though and we have to miss a week or 2 he blames me and says this is why we should do more all the time so when something comes up it isn't as bad for him. I have tried in the past doing more but if we go 3 times every week he asks for 4. If we go 4 he asks for 5...i can't physically do things every day. He is very very thick and if we go daily it hurts. Like porn star thick. If I am upset or crying he will still get turned on and want sex. If we are fighting (always about sex) he will ask for sex even if I am bawling. Nights I just don't feel like it I will suggest a blow job or a hand job and he gets annoyed and says he thinks it is impersonal or he doesnt feel as connected with me that way and will just deal until we can have sex..then pouts on his phone and won't talk to me. The things I don't like in bed are what he always asks for...my nipples are super sensitive and it hurts a lot if he pinches them or sucks on them but he says that is his biggest turn on. I was sexually assaulted 10 yrs ago and since then can't handle having a hand on the back of my head during kissing or blow jobs but he tries still saying he likes it better. Early on in our relationship we talked about past relationships and sex pasts...i told him some stuff I had tried but didn't like. Now years later he asks for some of them all the time even though I have asked him to stop and I won't do some again. I tried anal fir example with my ex and he asks at least once a month because he doesn't like that my ex got to do that with me but not him. We do anal play but I told him no to his penis up there. He has hid porn..not sure why as I don't care if he watches porn but he downloads those adult games on the computer and all involve extreme domination or even rape fantasies. He tries to hide them in zipped hidden folders but seems not get our security scanner finds them during virus scans. I don't know if he is a sex addict or needs therapy for it or this is normal fir some guys and I am over reacting to being worried. But we have been together 11 yrs and legit our only fights are about his penis. We have 4 kids, a great house and life together...but this part is hard. Any other women have men like this??