Well, after spotting, and going to see the doc and getting told that the baby stopped developing at 6w with no heartbeat... I’ve concluded that I miscarried.

I go back next week for another scan... they want to be absolutely sure, but my hcg hasn’t doubled, and I just have to gut feeling.

For some reason I felt from the start that I just didn’t feel pregnant. I knew something was off, but I ignored it; I didn’t want negativity to consume me.

I’m upset, to say the least. I know it’s never easy, and it never will be. I just really need to know when it’s appropriate to try again.

Obviously, I am taking this time with my husband to heal and think, but part of me is happy that I didn’t develop any further. I got so attached to my son when I was pregnant with him, and even now so that he’s 2.5 years old... I just feel guilty that I wasn’t already extremely attached to this baby.

I’m just ready to have another precious little miracle laying in my arms. I’m ready to grow my family.