I’m so sorry you’re having a difficult time. If you’re into meditation, I highly recommend it. Just really dig into yourself and focus on as much positivity as you can. Start with small gratitudes such as “I woke up today” “I have a roof over my head” “I have family and friends who love and care about me” etc. I hope things get better for you. I know how it is to feel like your in a deep hole and can barely keep your head above water.