Hi all—

I’m about 6 weeks along and I’m just not feeling excited. Or even happy. This is my second, and I had just decided (literally the week before finding out I’m pregnant) that I was cool with having one kid and wasn’t ready for a second. I just started to get my career going again and having a baby during a pandemic isn’t ideal.

I’m obviously going to do my best, I’m not sabotaging this pregnancy. My husband is excited and he’s been extremely supportive, helpful, and nonjudgmental.

So many of my friends either are “one and done” or have struggled with infertility, so it feels really insensitive to complain about being pregnant when it is such a dream for so many.

But it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t feel ready, I resent being reduced to a child vessel (again), and I’m already becoming a shit mom to my toddler because I’m too sick and tired.

I’m desperate for some camaraderie here. Please tell me I’m not the only not feeling “blessed.”