Sex? Lack of ...

Question

We just got married in August. We waited to have sex until after we got married. 
Since then, we are finding that we're only having sex about once a week.. usually Saturday mornings. Sex is often frustrating ... I still have not orgasmed - but he has every time. And the first month was so incredibly painful, I wanted to cry. I was a virgin when we got married but he wasn't. 
This isn't normal .... is it? The lack of sex... the not orgasming...? We're just so exhausted during the week and neither of us care to make a move during the weekdays. 
Can anyone relate or have tips? I want to be more "together" if you know what I mean...

Answer

The fact that you waited until marriage to have sex is the reason why you don’t have the information from experience. So I guess I’m going to educate you. Pain from sex can be for different reasons, obviously being your first time, you’re not used to things being in there, and depending on how thick he is or how long he is that also could be that you weren’t well lubricated when he went in you could’ve caused tiny cuts in the skin, which can happen often if you’re not well lubricated, your natural lubrication comes from clitoral stimulation, if you don’t create your own and you’re not stimulated and relaxed , you have a harder time getting it in there, and it can be painful if he’s banging on your cervix that’s another thing￼. The other thing to know is that most women cannot climax from penetration alone, clitoral stimulation is a must! The first time you have sex is always awkward, no one really enjoys it because you don’t know what turns the other person on because you don’t have the experience. The first time I was with my guy that I’m currently with, he popped off very quickly, and of course I was disappointed. What worked for other women didn’t work for me. He had to learn what works for me. Every woman’s body is not the same everyone everyone has different shaped vaginas, To the women that can climax from penetration, you also have to take into account that may be a guy is small both in length and girth so obviously it’s not gonna be beneficial to you. Girth is more important than length. Being well lubricated, sometimes you might need a water-based lube like Astro glide, nothing that heats up or is flavored, that’s an infection waiting to happen. It takes time to learn what works and what doesn’t work. Never fake it to spare his ego, otherwise he’s going to do it that same way every single time because he thinks at work the last time and the only one getting cheated is you. What worked with someone else may not work with you. So next time say let’s try something different, and maybe introduce sex toys. Vibrator in your clitoris works wonders, but also remember that men don’t vibrate and you may become dependent on it and only be able to climax with a vibrator or not manually. My next recommendation to you is figuring out what works best for you yourself. Stimulating your own clitoris so that you can show him what works for you. It really turns me on when I do this. It really gets me hot when I do this can I show you. You might look like a DJ spinning records, spending the clips of the 80s 90s in today,￼ lol. But you do what you Gotta do. Remember sex is also psychological, if you’re too busy thinking about all the things you need to do or sabotaging yourself by thinking it’s going to be bad every single time, of course you’re going to sabotage yourself. You got to be in the moment, if you got a close your eyes then do so you focus on whatever he’s doing, and enjoy it and find pleasure anyway you can with it that’s your own fingers for his or him going down on you and stimulating your clitoris, but you masturbating will also increase your sex drive, your body will crave it just like a drug attic does it will want to feel the euphoria and high. When you have sex dopamine and serotonin get released the feel good hormones. That’s when emotional attachment happens as well. You will learn to crave one another when you enjoy yourself, when you enjoy pleasing each other, when he makes the effort and tries to improve each time any type of critique or suggestion, the guy am with now this is the first time ever that I’ve truly enjoyed myself because he does all of these things, I enjoy pleasing him and giving him oral sex, instead of it feeling like a chore and dreading it. Because most of the guys that I dated were basically jerks. They only cared about their own climax and not my own, my guy says he could go down on me for hours because he loves to please me and I taste amazing, I guess being a vegetarian has its benefits. Drinking water, low sodium diet. Also the taste of his semen will be affected by his lifestyle. The more water he drinks the more it dilutes any sodium that would be in his semen. Meat and dairy also affect￼￼ the taste.  I have tasted  some disgusting ones. I’ve also dated a gym rat who drink a gallon of water a day, it was completely clear, it was odorless tasteless it was just clear goo. Also make sure you urinate immediately after six to clear out any bacteria so you don’t get a urinary tract infection and also you need to worry about your lifestyle so that you don’t get ￼yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis etc. always wear cotton underwear, always wear cotton breathable fabric pants, unfortunately a lot of gym clothes are made from polyester which is not a breathable fabric and keeps odor and wetness in, bathing suits wet gym clothes, make sure you change out of them quickly, he can also build bacteria, also if he’s not circumcised, and doesn’t keep it clean he can also pass bacteria to you that way and can pass East infections back-and-forth or other bacteria. If you’re not trying to get pregnant I strongly recommend using condoms, semen can throw off your pH levels and also cause infections. Diet high in sodium and sugar also feed on yeast and the taste down there, up your hydration, try incorporating a probiotic to your diet or eating Greek yogurt, all of these things are being preventative to get yeast infections.￼ if you don’t want to get pregnant, the best form of birth control it’s both birth control and condoms, if one fails the other is your back up and then you never have to worry about pregnancy scares her needing Plan B or abortion. Also know that having sex will delay your cycle, and the more active you are right before your cycle will also increase the amount of blood. Sex can delay your cycle, I can make it heavy you can make it light, stress also can mess with your cycle, exercise, diet, antibiotics, birth control, Plan B, so many things that can affect your cycle. Plan B is not meant to be used as a form of birth control I can really mess up your cycle, not to mention cause other health problems. It’s not meant to be used more than four times in your lifetime. If you need some more advice there’s a woman on YouTube with the screen him up glamerotica she does how to videos￼. If you have any other questions I’m here if you need to talk.

Sex? Lack of ...

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