Is it normal for my boyfriend to have a "r*pe play" fantasy?

Question

~Could be triggering for some assault victims~
He never outright said that's what it is. He calls it "fighting"
He is usually rough during sex and i like it, however when we tried "fighting" for the first time, it was more holding me down, me fighting to get up, but unable to...
The thing is, i got really turned on during sex.. i loved it.. but afterwards, i sat in the bathroom for 20 minutes and cried and called my friend 
That was several months ago
Then, tonight, we were sexting and it was great, wholesome, sexting
And then he said he had a dream
And without a pause, he sent me this huge paragraph about how the dream was about him kidnapping me and "forcing me on him" and how i "pretended to like it" and really great detail about the assault
I cried for about 10 minutes and instantly was not turned on anymore.
The thing is, i have fantasized about it before, and i liked it, so i dont know
I guess i am just scared. What if he has bad intentions? He says and shows that he loves me. But can someone really have assault fantasies and still love that person?
I genuinely want to be reassured. I don't know how to bring it up to him. I am just very uneasy after tonight and his dream.

Answer

I think CNC (consensual non consent) is a fairly common kink. I like CNC and will watch porn of it. My bf isn't into as much especially when it comes to me he will get rougher sometimes and use other aspects of BDSM because he knows I love it. I mean it is hard to talk about your own conflicting feelings though but if it upsets you in anyway I would probably juat talk to him about it and only do the aspects you are okay with.

Answer

After care is super important! Reassurance that it was just a scene. Loving on you. Making sure you drink and pee after. Lotion on any rope burns. 
It honestly is sub drop from no after care in my opinion. Communication is key in any relationship but it's even more important in a kink one!

Answer

Me and my fiance are both into CNC but we dont do it very often yet. Talk to him about your concerns and make sure you're getting proper after care after. Its totally normal to have those fantasies will no actual ill will behind it. Have a safe word. Speak up if you're not into it. And be open in communication about it

Answer

With any kind of bdsm it’s really important to have proper aftercare. If you’re not sure try googling Dom and sub drop because both are important. Then discuss with your partner from there

Answer

He's literally telling you what he's into and there's nothing wrong with that . Now it's ur turn to speak up and say OK I am or I am not into it . It is completely normal .rapist do not tell the other person they gonna rape them . I on the other hand love my husband to dominate me / pretend to rape me . I fantasize about it there is a BIG difference between role playing and rape . If you ain't into it you need to speak up immediately let him know cause that's not fair to him .He spoke up now your turn.

Answer

One time when I first got with my husband we were drinking, except he drank WAY more than me and he got very controlling and possessive of me. It was a misunderstanding kind of, but he was being very forceful and not letting me leave the bed. I told him later that It scared me and he told me he thought I was fine with it and said he didn’t know I felt that way at all, or he would have stopped. I love him so much and it was honestly a misunderstanding. I love when he’s forceful and possess now. We do some cnc role play some times, where he will put his weight on me and not let me get up and “try to get away”. My husband doesn’t call it anything, but he’s always offering to wrestle and I’ve never taken him up on his offer.. 🤔

Answer

How could it be bad intentions if he’s telling you and your both aware it’s a fantasy and just sex play? My boyfriend in high school had very similar fantasies and I honestly liked it. Just depends on the person. It seems like you like it in the act just talking and reading about it makes you uncomfortable. Talk to him about what you’re okay with

Answer

I think everything you like or he likes is fine if you both consent what you do, even rape fantasy, whore fantasy, open relationships. If you do nnoot like it, don't force your self to anything. Don't accept anything you can't do. Don't do anything you don't want or like. Some year later it will probably sound more interesting. Sexuality as personalty changes over time.

Is it normal for my boyfriend to have a "r*pe play" fantasy?

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