Anyone doing it ALL on their own?

Question

Not 100% sure where to post this but here goes! My husband and I just had our first baby this past August! We’ve already been discussing when a good time would be for baby #2 (Yes, seriously!😂) anywho, my husband has been in the army for years, and now wants to purse working for them full time! Here’s where the sad part is. He travels to go to his unit, so he would be staying in the barracks 5 days a week and home on the weekends since it’s such a long drive :/ 
It’s a very sad realization for us, since well basically never see each other. But in the long run it’s better for us financially. Now here’s my real question behind all this. Is it really that much harder with 2 kids ON YOUR OWN? Because we aren’t going to stop adding to our family because of this reason! We both still want more children, so please no judgement!
*Moving is NOT an option. We recently just purchased our first home!*

Answer

I’m not doing it alone, but I think it’s more important to focus on the age gap if you want more and are doing it alone. Having a 4 year old with a newborn has been nice because the older knows how to dress himself and eat on his own and once coaxed to sleep, stays asleep through the night. Whatever age you get that first child to be mostly self-capable in those basic things, it will be so much easier to have a second child who will need you to do all those things for them. You definitely don’t have to wait, I mean mamas with twins or two under two do it alone and make it. You can too, especially if you gather a good base of other friend moms that can be a support network for you. (And family if that’s possible and they are close by.) But I think having a good age gap will help a lot.

Answer

Some days are harder then others but it’s definitely do able.

Answer

Why not just move to be closer so he doesn’t have to travel as far? That way he can come home every night.

Answer

I found transition from 1-2 extremely challenging the first 6m. Now they are 4.5 and 2.5 and it’s a lot easier as they play together but I think most people find 1-2 the hardest (though obviously not all). If you do, make sure you have some good quality support.

Answer

Yeah that would be pretty fucking hard, raising a child alone is hard. Raising more than one is going to be harder. ￼

Answer

Why can’t you move so he can come home every night

Answer

I’m a single mom, I have a 4y/o and 14m/o, they are 2y9m apart almost to the day. Is it doable? Totally. Is it hard? Absolutely. Would I personally choose this scenario you’re presenting simply because of finances? Honestly no.
If I were in your shoes, I would consider the value of a family unit over finances. I think it’s good for fathers to be involved and for couples to have time together regularly. otherwise I feel like it might be a weekly transitional period that can be brutal on the kids therefore on you and possibly even on your relationship.
Just my opinion, either way, you can take it day by day and make it through as any of us mamas do in any situation. Some will be harder, some easier, you’ll get the hang of it, and the moments will still be sweet & fleeting. ♥️

Anyone doing it ALL on their own?

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