I know it’s not a lot, and it’s a little consumerist and shallow, but today I went to the mall and bought a Victoria Secret perfume scent I had wanted for years, a lip plumper, and a pair of thigh high boots.

I reached back and held the hand of my fourteen year old past self, recalling window shopping while my richer friends got bag after bag of American Eagle, Urban Outfitters, Aeropostale, and so on, as I listlessly parted the clearance racks and walked out empty handed.

I reached back and held the hand of my sixteen year old self, too poor to even shop at Target, finally getting a new pair of shoes for her sixteenth birthday after her last pair of good shoes had worn completely through.

I reached back to my eighteen year old self, living in a shed her senior year of high school, breaking up with her abusive boyfriend and wondering if anything she tried to change would ever be enough to rise out of squalor.

I reached back to my twenty year old self and took her hand from where it pressed the button to drain her savings to keep a roof over her family’s head, wondering how she would ever get to college when she had budgeted down to the penny of a paycheck she hadn’t even received yet j ust to eat and college applications alone were a minimum $40.

I reach back at almost 22, and say you made it, baby. We’re out of poverty. We’re in college and working toward our dreams. We have string lights and a silk robe. You know that perfume you sniffed at fourteen, wondering if you could ever afford it? You have it. You remember every time you wished you could just buy a strawberry lemonade or a latte, just a little pick-me-up on a bad day? Today was a bad day and we got that latte. We got that mall trip. We worked our ass off, and we made it , baby girl.

For every moment I spent in generational poverty, feeling trapped, wondering if I could ever afford even a $40 pair of boots, I made it.

I just wanted to share this for those of y’all who, like me four years ago, are on this app trying to escape your current living conditions. Who don’t know where your next meal is gonna come from. Who just wish you had some guarantee you’ll get out one day. Especially those of you trapped at home with no control over your financial situation.

You’ll make it out. You’ll get there. Study hard, work harder, save what you can. You’ll get through this and it WILL get better. I didn’t think it ever could for a long time, but if I can make it, so can you. 💖

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