No one ever tells you how hard it is to conceive again after a miscarriage. I feel myself that I have become a little obsessive about it. It seems to be always on my mind, as I get closer to my original due date I find myself wondering more and more how things would be if our little baby wasn't gone. It feels at times I only dreamed I was pregnant and our dreams keep fading away.

I saw this yesterday at 11dpo, accompanied by a Robin- in my country a Robin is supposedly a sign your loved ones are near. Yes I know its stupid and yes signs aren't real but it gave me just a small glimmer of hope. 12dpo and my temperature drops bringing me back to reality that this month again my rainbow isn't coming.