The worst news ever..

So our transfer was scheduled for 11/17 @ 1:45, everything was going as planned. So happy to finally reach this point in our ttc journey. We had adopted 2 embryos...

-Had went to all appointments

-Taking my estradiol along with starting my 6 days of pio injections before transfer

-All my numbers were above were they needed to be

-Drank my 32 oz of water for my bladder to be full

-Made sure I have no strong scents on

-Filled out my transfer day paperwork

Finally got called back for my turn (once again I'm excitedly nervous), in my room with nurse telling me how everything was gonna play out and try to calm me since this was my first transfer.

This is where everything goes so wrong..get a knock on my door and it is my doctor and embryologist walking in to tell my nurse that we need to talk privately. My heart sank and I knew it was bad. I felt like this was a bad joke and I just needed to rewind. Now remember this is a freaking pandemic and my husband couldnt be with me. My doctor goes on to say they thawed both embryos and they dont look good. They were dying in the thaw process. He said I think you need to give your husband a call so we can talk. I felt as if someone just told me my life was ending. They watched them for awhile but they just kept getting worse. I had no viable embryos to transfer.

Now we have spent all of our money for this embryo adoption and we are back to square one. Nothing, nothing to show for anything. So I have officially threw in the towel. I just dont understand why this has to happen to good people. I live my life right. Pray to GOD and try to stay strong in my faith but I feel failed. Why me? Why us? The one shot to build our family and it's over that fast. I feel broken and like a shell.

Thanks for letting me vent ladies. I hope you all have successful outcomes. I hope no one has to hear the news that I did. Much love.