Not sure if I’ll be able to describe this correctly

So you know when you’re about to orgasm the pressure builds up, it gets super intense then relief. Here recently I’m missing the super intense part!! I get the build up, then it just goes straight to the “relief” but it’s mostly just disappointment. It seriously kills my whole mood for the next 25 minutes or so 😂

This is happening both when I’m having sex with my husband & when I do it myself.

I feel like it’s possibly because I want to be way kinkier than we are currently. The sex is still good but I know it could be better.. so we’ll be working on that but if anyone has any tips they’re greatly appreciated 😂