Not feeling hopeful...

I have had HG since 6 weeks with this pregnancy. I had it with my first from about 8 weeks to 20 weeks. I have had to have IV therapy for dehydration and I have been taking antiemetics (although, I just stopped taking them after the following occurred).

A few days ago I woke up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night and noticed a small amount of red blood in the toilet. No other “bleeding,” cramps, or pain. I put on a pad to monitor and had about 1/2 a day of spotting (brownish colored), but so light that I didn’t have to change my pad. There has been no bleeding or spotting ever since.

My symptoms have mostly gone though since then...

With my HG I was suffering horrible all day nausea that created this inability to eat and drink, and of course, included vomiting—even with being on antiemetics. It would not let up. Sometimes I couldn’t even keep my pill down. I’ve lost about 14 lbs. If I had put my nausea/vomiting on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the worst, I previously was at a 8/9 and now I feel like I am at 1/2. My breasts no longer feel full and tender as well. My areola/nipples look lighter to me. There use to be a fullness/heaviness in my lower abdomen/uterus and that is gone too.

I know bleeding/spotting isn’t always a sign of miscarriage, and lack of symptoms doesn’t always mean something is wrong. But, it is disquieting to go from debilitating HG to basically nothing after unexpectedly seeing blood in the toilet during a middle of the night pee.

I can’t help but feel like this baby is gone (but still inside of me).

My 12 week appointment is in 5 days and I know I will find out then... My head is all over the place. I just wanted to write what I’m going through...