Why ‘I Have Black Friends’ Is a Terrible Excuse for Your Racism

Question

I got into a discussion with my family because they were trying to use having black friends as an excuse to not be racist and when I explained to them that having black friends doesn’t make you exempt from being racist... They didn’t get it... I guess I didn’t explain it well so can y’all help me talking more about this and explain in a way that’ll they’ll understand what I’m trying to say? Hopefully this post is allowed.￼

Accepted Answer

"I have a black friend"
"I have black family"
"I have black children"
"I date black people"
All of these people can still be racist.

Answer

Having black friends doesn’t make you not racist it just means your black friends are so oppressed they tolerate your racism.

Answer

Having black friends, a black spouse, or mixed children doesn’t mean that you automatically don’t have attitudes that are rooted in racism.  Those people can still feel superior to black people and harbor stereotypes against them.

Answer

I think about it like this. Back when slaves were around in the US, the slave owners would still rape their black slaves. Did that make them not racist because they were sleeping with black people? No because they were still owning black people and treating them as someone below them. So just because you have blacks friends/a black child/black spouse doesn’t automatically make you not racist. It just shows that you have the mindset of thinking this black person is somehow different than the rest so they aren’t “black” to them per say so they can excuse their racism by using their black person as a scapegoat. I hope that makes some sense. My husbands family is racist but says they aren’t cause they think n*ggers and black people are different, so it’s sort of like that for many of them.

Answer

You're reducing that person down to just their race and are using it as a wall to hide behind your prejudice.
We are not examples to be used to make yourself feel better about your bullshit. We are humans just like you are.
Having a "black (relationship)" is using us as a token and implys we are only worth mentioning when it's possible to bring up our race as a defence, or to make a statement. The same goes with Asian or any other race that isn't yours.

Answer

Not all black people think alike. I mean even trump has black friends. Some black people overlook his racism and may even be on his side. If a racist is friends with black people, there’s a good chance they might be the kind to overlook racist behavior. Also, not being racist requires more effort than associating with black people. A lot of people don’t understand how they benefit from privilege and well that’s part of the problem. We grow up learning that being racist is only when you do something bad because of someone’s skin color and that’s not the case. Lastly, using that line makes you unapologetically racist. If someone is calling you out on it, they’re giving you the opportunity to do better. Instead it’s like a misogynist saying “I don’t hate women, I have a mom and I love her”

Answer

Just saying "I have black friends" makes it bad

Answer

Just like misogynist men say “I love women”

Answer

My personal favorite is "not all black people, but.."

Answer

There have literally been black people who have joined white power groups. Didn’t make those white supremacists less racist, just meant they could use them as their tools. People seem to think if you don’t kill a black person on sight shouting expletives, then you’re not in the least bit racist.

Why ‘I Have Black Friends’ Is a Terrible Excuse for Your Racism

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