Been TTC #1 for years now and while my husband and I want children, I can't help but see the world changing and people hating each other and start to think maybe it's good we haven't been lucky yet. But then I think no, God has a plan it's just not the right time, He only does things at the right time. And then I think, what if us not having any is His plan? I always wanted a baby, it was the one thing in life I was sure about. And now I feel like it's been taken from me. I'm not getting younger either. I feel so lost and discouraged and sometimes am ok with it for the time being but I know I'm not. I'm angry and I pick myself apart looking for reasons why not this time. I try not to, but it's always there. I feel so much guilt if I have too much caffeine or exercise too hard every now and then thinking I'm the reason for what's wrong. It wasn't always like this, but the longer it goes on the harder it gets. And it just never seems to be the right time, ever. I'm sorry to be such a bummer, and usually I'm a trooper through this and keep the faith and find the positive but I just feel like I'm being spiritually attacked at this point. I don't know. The beginning of this year is when I really got serious about faith, like before covid became this thing, and I know without a doubt that God is real, so so REAL, and I just feel like I'm getting equally serious spiritual pushback from God's enemy. Please pray for me. I know I probably sound crazy. But please pray that God steps in and grants strength and peace on the attacks and maybe even a little healthy family for us if it's His plan.