Left my narcissistic husband.

Married 6 years together 8.

Yesterday was my birthday. We had been having a few issues in our relationship lately but nothing major. Small disagreements here and there. I have in fact, in recent weeks, figured out from thorough researched and many holidays and birthdays ruined by his “tantrums” that my now ex is a narcissist. So like I said yesterday was my birthday. He got home from work (I work from home due to covid, have since March) and he didn’t acknowledge me. No gift, no happy birthday, no even a kiss. He Asked what was for dinner and I told him I was going to order food since it was my birthday and he told me fine but to do it now because he’s hungry. It was 345pm at this point and no where near dinner time so I looked at food and just ordered it then to keep the peace. I told him the food would be here in about 20 minutes and he SCREAMED at me. He called me a bitch and sneered at me because I didn’t choose the place he wanted or ask him his exact order. The place I picked we go to a lot so I just got the same thing he has from there ordered for the last 5 years. Still wasn’t good enough. He told me I wasn’t doing enough for him around the house since I’m “home all day” because he doesn’t consider me working from home actually going to work. Our laundry basket in our bedroom is full and he told me it was unacceptable. That I should have plenty of time to do it during the day and time to make sure dinner is on the table when he gets home and time to scrub the floors and the toilets every day with bleach. So at this point I’m crying. ON MY BIRTHDAY. And for some reason I apologized to him. TO HIM. I had become so deeply brain washed and submissive to him that I was apologizing to him for him screaming at me and calling me a bitch on my birthday. It’s like a light switch went off in my head and I asked myself who I had become. My ex wasn’t done though. He then told me that maybe if he started BEATING me I would cry, apologize to him and get to all the stuff he needs me to be doing during the day. That by not doing things the way he wants it done that I was asking for him to start beating me.

Let me make this clear, our house is IMMACULATE. I’m an extremely clean and neat person, always have been. My ex however is OCD like his mother, so a single crumb out of place drives him nuts. A full laundry basket I hadn’t got to obviously drove him over the edge. After he threatened violence he told me he hated his life, was indifferent towards our relationship and is only staying with me for the convenience of his laundry being done, his work lunches made and his house being cleaned. That he had resigned himself to our relationship, I was a means to an end for him and he doesn’t think he’d be happier without me so he stays. SO I packed up all of my stuff in my truck and drive 14 hours straight back to my mom’s. He blew up my phone when I left. Professed his love, told me he didn’t mean any of it that he was speaking out of anger. Typical love bombing shit. He was absolutely stunned I actually left him and even more stunned when I told him I was divorcing him.

Ladies, if you’re in a narcissistic relationship or a relationship with any type of abuse, please know your worth and leave. Don’t ever accept abuse of any kind and make yourself small for a man or woman. I feel so much relief now that I’m out. I got this 💪🏻 Things can only get better from here.