Dating a manchild.. help!

Okay so I’m 21 and last year I came out of a long term relationship with a guy my age, and one of the reasons we broke up was that he just wouldn’t grow up, still needed his dad to book his driving lessons, refused to get a job etc.

So when I met my current partner, I was really excited, hes 24, has a car, has a job, he is into the same hobby as me and we spent a lot of time together and things were looking good.

About a year into the relationship now and I’m starting to notice red flags, we’ve finally started talking money and he makes about half what I earn. He hasn’t had a pay rise in five years, he’s in a dead end job working for his dad who uses the fact he’s his boss to get free lifts to places any day of the week.

He has no savings, still lives with his mum and has no plans for his future, to move out, get a decent job etc. He says the reason he won’t get a job that pays more than minimum wage is that he’s not motivated by greed, which I took very personally.

Then furlough hit. And he’s gotten into the habit of staying up till 5am and then sleeping until the mid afternoon. He seems really pumped about being told not to go out, said if he could be paid to never have to leave his room again that would be his dream.

I’m the opposite, I’ve been saving up since I was a little girl and I have a deposit ready to buy my own flat, I’m very career focused, I’m a morning person and if I go an entire day without leaving my house I feel really depressed and dirty and like I’m wasting my life.

He’s getting worse, last weekend we made plans to go on a socially distanced walk together to catch up because we hadn’t seen each other in a few weeks. We were supposed to meet at 2pm but he cancelled because he hadn’t eaten all day and his mum hadn’t brought him his lunch yet.

I’ve given him some harsh words about it and he’s promised to change but the last couple days he’s still been sleeping in until 2:30pm. He forgets our friends birthdays, he bought me a potted plant for my 21st birthday, he forgot his mums birthday.. I’ll probably have to put both our names on all the Christmas presents I buy for our friends 🙄

Are guys like this capable of change? I want to believe him but he doesn’t seem to have any self motivation. It feels like he will say what he needs to to keep me around.

Outside of this we have this really great relationship. He’s really emotionally mature, doesn’t get jealous of my guy friends, is really supportive of me, affectionate and great in other ways.. I don’t know what to do. I tried ending it once when we had arranged to go to an event with friends and he went home just as I was arriving because he was tired.. seems he had stayed up until 6am the night before, gaming, knowing full well he had plans that evening. He turned up at my house crying and promising to change and I fucking believed him and here I am months later in the same predicament.

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