Please give me advice

Please don’t judge me, I’m trying to do better. My husbands grandpa died, he was like a father figure. My father died when I just turned 13 from a horrific, brutal, slow death that I watched. Ever since, I’ve been kind of numb to death I guess you would say. I feel as though if my mother, grandparents or someone from my family passed away I wouldn’t cry or dwell on it. I would be devastated of course if my husband or son died. Anyways, I understand him being upset and I understand his pain but I don’t know how to be there for him. I want to be there for him but I find myself frustrated that he is being distant from our son and just being upset. I hate seeing him upset and like I said I understand but I keep getting frustrated, I haven’t brought it up to him and plan not to because everyone grieves different and it’s unfair of me to do so. It just really bothers me that he’s not talking much, very distant from our family, sleeping a lot, and very uninterested in everything. Maybe I’m just frustrated with myself because I don’t know how to help him and I can’t, only time can. I just hate seeing him this way and it’s an internal battle in my head because him and I grieve differently and though I understand it’s hard to be understanding and finding a way to help him.