Will I love my baby?

Question

I was not sure where to post this, and I really do not want hate. Please either keep scrolling or help a sister out. I never thought I would be saying this. I’ve tried to conceive for almost 2 years and I am finally pregnant. 7 weeks. I saw the heartbeat on an ultrasound. My husband is overjoyed, But I do not feel ecstatic or immense joy - all I feel is fear. All I thought about for all this time and I just feel so much different than I thought I would. My life will change - will it be for the better? My mother was abusive - will I be like her? Will I love this child? Will I be able to overcome my anxiety, depression, and PTSD and be a parent? I am already seeing a therapist weekly, so those comments aren’t helpful. I just wanted to see if any other friends on here have had these feelings. Thanks for reading.

Answer

I never felt immense joy while pregnant with my first. I was 100% indifferent to being pregnant and carrying a child. Not everyone has immediate emotional connections to their fetus. 
I’m now pregnant with my second and I feel a little different but I think it’s just more of a I’m “prepared” sort of feeling.

Answer

YES!!!!! OMG! YES!! I can tell you you will absolutely love your baby. It's the greatest love and joy that you have ever felt in your life. And my mother was beyond abusive in many ways so i completely understand and I am here to tell you, you will not be your mom. Nothing like her. If you ever need to talk, ill give you my number because I get it 100%  I had the exact same worries and feelings. It is hard. Living with that fear and worry. The worry hasnt gone away for me. I had twins about 5 months ago and I worried all the time and still do. We are all just doing the best we can do honey. It is never easy but just ask for help whenever you need it. Take a breath amd remind yourself that you are not and will never be your mom. YOU are mama now and what you are and what you become is 100% up to you

Answer

I had these same thoughts I can tell you the fact you're worried about being like mom proves you're already a mom.  Once the Dr lays that baby on your chest and you hear their sweet cry it's instant.  I worried all through my second pregnancy will I love my daughter I felt no love for her the whole time I was pregnant but once I saw her a wave of oxytocin hit me.  You will love your baby as for it being for the better this is what you wanted idk your situation but I can say being a mom has its ups and downs but even with all the downs I'd still do it all over again.

Answer

Don’t feel shame or guilty for feeling this way! Many women do and you’re taking the right steps by talking about it. It’s a weird thing to have a little human growing inside of you. My sister actually felt this way when pregnant and is so in love with her child. I think she just needed to see her baby to make the connection but she felt guilt. She felt outside of herself like someone else was pregnant and stressed herself out over it. Try to enjoy yourself and relax your body. Maybe bubble baths, massages, light yoga. I’m sure you will love your baby! The baby is already lucky that they have a mother who is already thinking so deeply about him/her! Good luck!

Answer

You will love you baby and just because your mother was abusive doesn’t mean you will be. We aren’t our parents. I’ve said this before here but I come from a VERY fucked up family and I am a badass parent. My family has been a “what NOT to do guide” and knowing that is half the battle. 
Being a parent is scary, it can hit you like a ton of bricks. Pregnancy is strange because you know there’s something in there but it’s not exactly real yet and can take time to feel so. 
It’ll be ok. Keep up with therapy and practice self care.

Answer

We did IVF and sometimes I still wondered if we were doing the right thing.....we were!

Answer

I tried for 2 years and had to do IVF. I didn’t have fear, but I definitely didn’t have a connection to my baby while pregnant. Even when he moved, it wasn’t like I felt this deep connection to him growing inside me. That has completely changed actually experiencing him outside the womb, and it’s crazy to think how disconnected I felt during pregnancy.

Answer

Totally NORMAL!!  It’s ok to feel this way I was never a kid person and now I’ve had 4 and could never have imagined the live it brings you once they are born

Answer

You can’t help how you feel so don’t apologize for your feelings. It’s normal to go through a different range of emotions during a pregnancy. You’re entitled to however you feel. The fact that you’re already worried shows your motherly features. You will love the baby once they’re born.

Will I love my baby?

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