So unfortunately my ex got back with me but he apologized like 3weeks ago. He told me he was going to marry me and that he love me no cap and that he said he mean it. So why haven’t he text me back lately ? The last text was Sunday but he never text me back and I seen that he read my message. I don’t know what to feel. Am I’m getting played ? Is he still needing more time for himself ? Or he not interested in me anymore ? I feel so hurt right now because I haven’t talked to him for almost 4days. I love him so much because he is my first true love. I can’t see myself moving forward with another guy. I had sex with him and everything and losing him is hurting me. We lost our virginity together and everything after that I messed up for texting 3 guys but i wasn’t texting them sexual or romantically I knew those people. Idk if he still stuck on that and that’s why he acting towards me or he just lost his virginity with me and feel like he doesn’t need me anymore.

My own brother said I need to do better but I can’t move forward. I feel so embarrassed and I truly hate myself for giving myself to him. All I do is think, cry, think, cry, think and cry even more. Never been this depressed in my life.