first time at 23,.... surprisingly not awkward

So I recently broke up with my now ex because we were long distance and I realized I saw it more friendship like than relationship. Well, nothing “serious” happened between us mainly because I was uneasy about sex with him. The break up was a couple weeks ago.

Now, from the outside looking in, it looks like I rebounded, but I know I didn’t. So I’ve known this other guy that I’ve had feelings for in the past but never was a thing. Well, SURPRISE,

I still have feelings for him. We have been friends for a while but don’t talk or hang out regularly. Well, we made plans to watch the grinch (illumination studios version) because I never seen it. Then we ended up watching another movie.

Somewhere in there we began cuddling. Post movies it was around 3am and the roads were slick with ice. I made the decision to sleep over and he offered his bed or the couch.

I obviously too the more comfortable choices of the bed, knowing the perks would be cuddling.... I’m a sucker for a good cuddle. We fell asleep and my alarms went off at 6am and 6:15 am.

We both woke up and he kissed me. I was a little in shock, but kissed him back. It began to get heavy as he was kissing me more passionately, and I felt him get hard. At this point I was thinking “is this really happening?”

He checked in and asked me if I was doing ok. I replied yes and continued. He was half naked and so was I. He asked if I wanted him to get a condom and continue or to stop. I kissed him, grinding on him, and consented.

I was incredibly nervous and not as wet because of it. The initial insertion was not very painful but very tense. He actually whispered to me “relax”. I didn’t realize I was that tense. He entered me and from there it was smooth. Unfortunately I didn’t climax but he did very quietly. We cuddled until the late morning and it was all I could have wished for, besides that were not a couple (yet...... hopefully).

I had no intention of losing my virginity to him last nigh but there was a comfortability and trust in him that I didn’t have in my last relationship. It always felt forced before and I wasn’t about it. But this just seemed right. I have no regrets but I hope it develops into something more.