There has been ongoing problems that has been happening in our relationship.

He has been withdrawn and depressed and he hasn’t had time to work on our problems (him not reassuring well, him walking away from fights and ignoring me, him not being able to stand up for me when his family talks about me.... etc)

I want to be with him and I love him but I’m just miserable and I want to be loved back.

For the past few weeks I’ve been holding back on arguing because our last big fight he said “he’s done” and he’s going to end it all (kill himself.) this really made me worry about him

I truly believe he is depressed and I’ve been trying to help him find therapy (I’ve even called a place and tried to see how much he could do) but today when I asked him when was best for him he said he doesn’t really want to go to therapy.

So I don’t get it and I’m confused. He doesn’t want therapy and he also doesn’t want to break up. I don’t trust that he’s able to work on problems himself. He grew up depressed.

Am I just making everything about myself ?

I am genuinely asking for advice and I need help. I don’t want to break up with him but I also am not happy in my relationship right now. He’s been doing this for months. I’ve tried breaking up with him before but he just says he promises he’ll change (he never does)

Edit :

1.) He does not get me gifts. Gift giving and receiving is my love language. The reason why I said “Receiving gifts and materialistic things isn’t going to make me stay with you” is because he always talks about how he’s going to get me this and that (which he never does because he’s broke and stressed for himself)

2.) Telling me I don’t love my boyfriend is rather rude and assumptive. You don’t know me. Yes I may be selfish (now I know) I can now take a step back and figure out how to help him (by being supportive,) but that doesn’t mean I don’t love my boyfriend. I love him very much, otherwise I wouldn’t have tried to help him. Thank for trying tho.