One day

For one day I pray to hold you in my arms.

I wish to give you sweet little kisses.

I dream of your tiny hand grasping my finger.

I patiently await your arrival. For you will enter my life when I least expect it.

The tears I’ve shed won’t matter any longer. For when those 2 lines appear I will have to become stronger.

Stronger for you.

I won’t dare complain about the amount of laundry you produce. The endless amount of diapers that you’ll go through. Perhaps the late nights of soothing you back to sleep. I can’t wait until I can whisper lullaby’s and sweet nothings into your perfect little ears.

I can’t wait to see the image of your father and myself perfectly made into you. The stubborn kind and wonderful you.

I will teach you. I will mold you. I will make you the best you can be... from watching you learn how to read and write to your prom night. I want everything and more for you unborn child of mine. I desire the moon and the stars and many galaxies beyond.

I just wish that God would guide me to you. I wish he would instill just a little more patience in me.

It’s crippling to watch someone I care so deeply about endure the journey I so desperately want. I am a good person and a better friend and I will be with her until the end...

But when will my time come, when will I be able to share the miracle of life with my loved ones? When will I be able to shower my love on you my unborn child? When will I be able to breath your sweet name? When will I overcome the impatience that is swallowing me whole?

You don’t even exist yet but somehow your missing from my heart. I was made to be a mother, so please God please grant me this.

Please grant me the title of mother this Christmas?