Me and my boyfriend (21) had got into a fight (I was just really sad it’s wasn’t a big fight) because he paid cam girls for a 1 on 1 sessions so he’d get on his cam and masturbate with them- site: JerkMate

After that “fight” I was so sad but I started to get a “tingling sensation” if you know what I mean. It made me want to masturbate just thinking about it, I couldn’t get it off my mind i even had a wet dream about it. After that dream I asked him if I could watch him jerk off to another girl so I can watch and I asked him to say what he’d do to her etc.. (I’m not normally like this) he said no that he only wants to think about me and he only did that cause I wasn’t doing it enough with him. (Mind you we’re in a long distance relationship rn because he’s in college so he’s talking about doing it over FaceTime- he was extremely sorry too and regretted what he did) he said I should stop thinking like that it’s only us but I can’t get it off my mind? I asked if it could be for 1 time to get it out of my system. I’m not asking him to get physical with a girl in person, I’m just asking to watch him jerk off to someone.

Has anyone ever felt like this? Is it wrong of me to feel like this? I’m confused at myself. Idk what it is..