Bisexual daughter?

Question

This is huge....and weird....and I’m not quite sure if she even understands what it is. 
So, my daughter is 11 and in 6th grade. I just found out one of her friends (whom I’ve never met) claims she’s bisexual. This girl also started cutting herself, I guess because of depression and other things. I reported it because she was clearly asking for help and my 11 year old didn’t know how to. Luckily my husband picked up her phone and started looking through it. 
A couple weeks ago a girl confronted her in band class and said that the two were together and my daughter replied with no, were just friends... I said “yeah, that’s when you just tell her “I like boys.” Which she has NEVER mentioned any crushes or anything ever...not even when she was little, which is fairly common. 
We were talking about it again this afternoon because the other girls parents found out she’s bi and she didn’t want them to know because of my report for her safety. Needles to say they weren’t mad at her for her. I asked, well you like boys right? She laughed and said sure, I said what do you mean? Do you like girls? She said well I liked this one girl...
All that to be said....I honestly don’t know that she even under her feelings. I have always found girls and guys attractive, but I didn’t ever feel like romantic I feelings for girls. 
When she was younger (about 9) we found out she googled “boy and girl parts” and kissing....
Do I just leave it alone? I know her dad would be very upset....me on the other hand...I don’t care as long as you’re happy, but I don’t want her being bullied or teased. 
Btw...she knows we have full reign over her phone. She a beautiful tall girl with long curly hair, she is in athletics, and also ballet. She’s always liked wearing dresses and skirts and playing with animals, and doing girly things.

Answer

How could you have children with someone who would be upset by their sexuality. Also if by age nine you hadn’t discussed with her the difference between males and females and she didn’t know the proper terms, then of course she is going to use her resources. But that’s on you. As her parent it is your job to educate and accept your child.

Answer

There’s a lot here.
The most important thing you can do is be supportive. She may be bisexual, she may not. She may not know yet. I’m straight and didn’t have feelings for anyone until I was close to 15. Remind her you love her and teach her how to have healthy and safe relationships, regardless of the gender of the other person.
The activities she’s in and the way she dresses are not an indication of her sexual identity. Ballerinas can be lesbians, softball players can be straight and anyone can be anywhere in between.
I didn’t have Google when I was 9, but that age is not unusual for sexual curiosity and googling to see pictures of men’s and women’s parts is not necessarily a cause for alarm. But it does mean you need to have regular conversations about bodies, sex, and relationships with her. And nowadays it also includes what she should be looking up and posting on the internet.

Answer

I'm not sure what her hobbies or looks have to do with this post. It sounds like you're daughter is trying to figure herself out. It's also a bit confusing that you expect hey to say "yes I like boys" but if she liked a girl you assume she can't understand these feelings. I don't think there's anything you need to do or figure out for her at this stage. Just let her know you're available if she wants to talk, but don't force anything.

Answer

Please don't put any thought into it, Its really not a big deal. Could be a phase? could be her preference. You don't want to put your hang ups on your kids or make them feel shame for what they feel. If you stay calm, when she is ready to discuss it she'll come to you. Just remember she's only gonna be 11 for a little while longer.
As far as her friend. Cutting and the reasons why it happens is pretty serious and needs to be addressed immediately, sometimes friends pick up other friends coping skills, anyway look into it and good luck!

Answer

When I was in 6th grade I was attracted to boys and girls didn’t really knew what it meant. But my parents always kept me under a rock hell I didn’t even know about sex or masturbating was until 7th grade when I had sex ed. That being said around 8th grade I knew I was Bisexual. Some people know sooner than later. I was super nerdy, I was in band, I loved dressing up. Her hobbies have nothing to do with it. But I’m sorry that dad feels that way and I hope he can still support her and love her. Maybe do some research about it and then have a discussion with her. Because you asking if she likes boy and girls I don’t think she would know how to take that. Maybe she means like in friends. I wasn’t there so I wouldn’t know. But take her out and talk to her about it and tell her you are open to talk to her and she can trust you. But if she does tell you she is or thinks is she that’s still not a “go ahead” to tell dad because she may not be ready. 
But don’t jump into conclusions she seems to be figuring herself out. She may or not be but all you could do is be supportive, be someone she can trust and talk about things like this with.

Bisexual daughter?

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