So I’m feeling really frustrated. My mom watches my son, who is 14 months, two times a week. I am really appreciative of her help, it saves us from having to pay for childcare and we still get to see her during this pandemic. The problem is she wants to watch him at her house.

I sometimes work really early before he wakes up so she comes to our house in the morning and then takes him to her house after breakfast. Not a big deal except we’ve had issues with her car seat. One time I checked it and it wasn’t even clicked in and she didn’t notice, who knows how long it was like that 😱 another time she put him in it in his puffy, winter coat which I had just barely told her not to put him in while he was in the car seat.

Then her house is a death trap. My dad and her have done the bare minimum when it comes to child proofing and only because I bought the stuff. And even then, they cut corners, like only putting bumpers on the corner of their sharp metal coffee table. Other examples are like my dad’s vertical bike rack that isn’t bracketed to the wall, the heavy objects and picture frames in his reach, no baby gates at the stairs...

Anytime I bring up concerns, I get blow back that makes me feel like I’m overreacting, especially from my dad. I know I’m not but it’s exhausting working during this pandemic, taking care of a baby, and then dealing with this extra drama. I’m tired of having to be in charge of everything, like if I don’t do it myself it won’t get done.

My mom even told me that she doesn’t want to be criticized for what she doesn’t know and if I try to give resources, she gets offended. I am really conscious of how big of a favor my mom is doing for me and I love that he gets to see them so much. However, I feel like I’ve been respectful with my instructions. I have never yelled or admonished, I am learning every day too, mistakes happen. And I don’t want to micro manage them but I have anxiety when I leave for work, especially now that he’s walking. I’m so afraid for the call that they had to take him to the ER.

Has anyone dealt with a similar situation or have suggestions for what to do?