Ok anyone else feel this way about sex with your partner?

It’s sad, we only been together 3 years. I’m 23, he is 24.

I’ve had 2 babies from rape when I was 16. My abuser beat me and did a lot of damage internally down there.

Then when i turned 20 I met my now fiancé and we had our own baby. A year later I had to have a hysterectomy cause of cervical cancer. I feel loose. I hear you can’t get loose but I don’t feel anything when we have sex anymore. I used too in the beginning but after the third baby and the surgery it’s just not... good. I don’t think he feels it either much. Like in the beginning of our relationship he always finished pretty fast. His actions and everything was different roo. Now it takes him a while to finish, no moans like nothing it’s so so so embarrassing.

I can’t get wet ever. After a hysterectomy my dr said it’s common. But ir sucks I’m so young and it make me feel super embarrassed. We have to use lube. He has made comments in the past how I’m so young and have to use lube. He has been supportive but those comments did make me feel even more insecure.

Now we hardly have sex. He never wants too.. I feel like I have to force it most the time. I just want my partner to wanna have sex with me!! It feels like such a chore. I wanna be able to fee it all and enjoy it.

Has anyone else struggled with this? Felt this way? Any advice or tips?? Thanks for reading!