We do it all?

Question

Does anyone feel like they are doing so much more for their LO and their husbands don’t? Grant it, I’m home on leave until March 1. Baby girl is only a month old. But i still feel like I do so much more. When my husband gets home from work & to me it feels like barley does anything. I’ve tried to communicate this to him but quite frankly I’ve given up. But I’m just really exhausted you know & I think that’s it.
Anyways, do you just feel as moms you do so much more & need a break? Or am I the only one...

Answer

You are not alone on this. I know for me, to be honest. I’m better at the mom stuff. It’s more intuitive to me and I’m much better at multitasking. And in some cases that means I would prefer to do certain things do it’s done right. So I’ve picked certain chores he can do (up to my standards 😂) or things I can let go if not done the way I would have and I’ve asked him to be 100%
In charge of those (trash, recycling, dishwasher). Other things I do halfway. Like I pick out my toddlers clothes and do her hair and he gets her dressed and ready for school. He’ll make bottle and feed my son while I make dinner. It’s a compromise as well as a learning curve. Keep in mind your husband might feel uncomfortable and just be me letting you do it because he’s not confident he can. So be willing to talk about it and teach him and slowly give over responsibilities.

Answer

I think moms in general just do more where children are concerned. I know I do. I don’t really feel like I need a break but if I need to get something done in the house, I take my son outside to my husband and make him play with while I work. My husband tends to get more playtime while I get more of the actual work.

Answer

Unfortunately it's in our genetic makeup to attempt to be the sole bearers of the kids. Granted, way back when we lived in tribes where all of the women watched all of the children hence the "it takes a village to raise a child" quote. Tell your husband that you need an hour or two to yourself when he gets home.

Answer

It’s normal to feel that way. All you can do is talk to him about it. Tell him you need a break and go walk around a store for an hour or two. I know with our first my husband was really apprehensive to help bc he was scared he was going to hurt her. Once she got bigger probably around 6 months he felt comfortable giving baths and helping more. Now that we have 2 he is amazing at helping. I still do more for the kids but he definitely steps up and let’s me have a break. Communication is everything

Answer

At one month old, my babies needed me. They knew my voice, my smell, my look better than anyone else's, including my husband. In those early days my husband help more with dishes and laundry than he did with baby. As our babies got older, he was more hands on with them.

Answer

I definitely felt/feel this way. My s/o works a lot. But my little one is almost a year old and I’ve felt like a single parent through most of it. I feel bad because my fiancé works night shift and they’re 14 hour shifts but at first it really sucked. I own a flowershop so I bring my son to work with me. But it definitely gets exhausting sometimes. And always being the one waking up for feedings during the night and then waking up the next morning for work and trying to get stuff done while I would baby wear it was really hard. But now as he’s getting older we have such a close bond and it feels rewarding to see how smart he is... and the things he already knows and knowing I can pat myself on the back lol. Idk. It does get easier but I truly know how you feel trying to do everything.... be a mom, cook, clean, work, etc. it def gets the best of us sometimes. Hoping it gets easier for you soon😌

Answer

Normal feelings. Mothers do a lot when it comes to child rearing. It is important to get a break and you are at the post partum stage (first 3 months). Let your husband know that when he gets home, after he has taken a bit of a break himself, you need time for yourself. You would love for him to help you with a diaper change or whatever is needed or just allow you time to rest. Motherhood especially at this stage is an adjustment. 
Breaks are important. So sleep when your baby sleeps. Eat when you can. Maybe wake 15 minutes before your baby will so you can get time for yourself or when you really need it, place your baby in a safe place (the crib) and take 5-10 minutes to decompress.
You are human and you cannot run on empty.

Answer

Thank you so much mommas. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who feels this way.

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