So a couple of weeks ago my boyfriend went to a party of this girl who I’ve never been that keen on and ended up shouting at me down the phone because he was really drunk. We didn’t speak for days, and for the first time ever I seriously considered ending it but I decided to give him a chance as he was really genuinely sorry and promised it would never happen again. Last night the same girl had another party, I was really honest and upfront with him about how anxious I felt, and that I needed some reassurance if he was going to go that the same thing wouldn’t happen. He knew how anxious and uncomfortable I was and whilst he didn’t do the same thing he did last time there was a period in the night where I didnt hear from him for a long time. I phoned him and he was drunk and he was kind of defensive with me saying how he was worried what I would think (he says one of the reasons he shouted at me the night of the party was because he worries when he drinks that I’m going to be annoyed or angry at him). He then just really rushed me off the phone and wasn’t his normal self with me. I was really upset and it made me feel even more anxious than I already felt. I stayed calm and didn’t say anything to him during the night because I wanted to approach it with him in the right way. So today I wrote down how I felt and sent it to him and at first he was really apologetic but then he started saying how he didn’t think what he did was that bad. Whilst I can maybe see as an isolated incident what he did wouldn’t be a major offence or anything, what hurt the most for me was that he knew how anxious I was and I don’t think he kept that in mind when he made the choices he made. I don’t get the impression he thought he would behave in a way that wouldn’t cause me any upset or anxiety. Now I feel like he’s being selfish ha trying to belittle how I feel. Thoughts?