Sons dad get annoyed and calls him autistic

Our son is 2 and has delayed speech. He just started throwing big tantrums when he doesn’t get what he wants. But he gets very annoyed with his crying. He doesn’t listen right away and will continue to do something when asked not to. His solution is to spank and yell at him. He told him he was annoying for waking up at 7:20 this morning and wanting to get out of bed. And he called him autistic again last night. I’m fed up Am I crazy? He’s making me believe I am. Please tell me this isn’t normal.