Boyfriend’s Best Girl Friend?

Question

I’m probably going to get a lot of hate when it comes to this topic, or I will just sound like a complete jealous b*tch.
I want advice on how to approach his best girl, whose his friend. They are childhood friends and have know each other LITERALLY since they were infants. She was also his first kiss at a younger age. He did admit that a while back in high school, they did have feelings for each other but chose not to do anything about it since they didn’t want to ruin their friendship. Originally, she was the girl his Dad wanted him all his life to end up with. Some of the past relationships have not worked out for him because they would get jealous of his friendship with her. 
I’m currently 6 months pregnant, and we haven’t told all of his friends just yet. She is one of them that we haven’t told. We haven’t met in person but he is able to contact her through text. They recently started talking again and ever since, he’s been kinda talking about her non-stop. It can be really random at times, we can be talking about one of his favorite games or even talking about work and then he just brings her up all of a sudden. Of course I’m happy they are talking, it just sucks having that tiny amount of jealousy lingering in the back.
When we first initially started dating, he said that she would meet me at her own time. He said she can come off as a b*tch at first but she’s nice. I really want to be friends but I’m just not sure on how to approach her. With knowing that his Dad wanted him to be with her because of a unique feature. Then knowing they once had feelings but didn’t act on it. What’s harder is, she seems like she is the girl who either makes it or breaks it. If she doesn’t like you, then that’s it. Who wouldn’t be afraid of her opinion and what she could say to him? 
I know I shouldn’t dwell on the past however it’s hard because I know it’s mainly my fault. I have my own insecurities I need to work on which is why I want to make an effort on being her friend, rather just being the girlfriend who is all jealous and hates the girl. 
Please, if you have anything negative to say, do not post a comment. I’m really looking for advice here as I’m sure there might be some similar experiences too.

Answer

Kudos for actually wanting to meet her. 
First piece of advice is take your feelings out of it. They both were super mature enough to not damage their friendship and that speaks volumes to me.
She seems like she has that protective instinct over him which is something a best friend/sister would also do.
Reach out to her there’s no harm. Just say hello and set a meeting place. You can talk to her much later about your insecurities should you choose because while you know your man you truly sound like you want to hear from her that she only has his best interest at heart and nothing else. 
It all starts with one message and it could be a beautiful friendship between you all. Just be open and genuine.

Answer

Your feelings are very valid and understandable. I think I would just ask him to tone down the constant talking because it’s uncomfortable and makes you feel unwanted. They seem like a mature pair but I still find it super strange she never wanted I meet you until SHE was ready. 
If her opinion breaks what solid relationship you had, then sadly he’s just plain trash. Beat her with kindness like you have been and be super confident. Tell him YOU are ready to meet/talk to her even if it’s only text or zoom. Oh and also tell her the news first! She should be the first friend to know.

Answer

All I can say is don’t be worried, be confident in yourself as a person. Don’t be too focused on if she’s going to “like” you. At the end of the day you’re a part of his life now, take it day by day. Once that day comes be your usual self! She’s just as great as you are. Q

Answer

When I started dating my now fiancé, he had a guy best friend and his best friend’s girlfriend that he was super close with. The three of them would do everything together. My fiancé obviously doesn’t like his friend’s girlfriend but before we met, I got the same sense about her that you’re describing here. Like she would either not like me or like me & that’s it. 
It didn’t help that my fiancé made me nervous upon meeting them. I’m a super shy person & they’re not so he told me I needed to talk to them & be more outgoing or they automatically wouldn’t like me. It also seemed like whatever they thought of me would sway his opinion of me so I was very scared of being rejected & losing him, even though our relationship has nothing to do with them 🙄
Anyways. When we met, she came off as very intimidating. We talked, we’re into the same things & now, almost 3 years later, I would say she’s one of my closest friends. But it definitely didn’t happen on that night we met 😂 we had to go through a lot to get to where we are now. 
Before, it was the guys who would make the plans but now her & I text each other & make plans. 
Anyways. It might take some time to get to know one another but you’ll get there if you guys click. Just kind of see what kind of person she is. Who knows, maybe you guys will be into the same stuff & really hit it off. Just try not to come off as insecure or jealous or she’ll realize it. I wouldn’t be worried about him being into her or anything. If he wanted her, he’d be with her. You’re pregnant, so it’s normal to go through these different emotions & it’s okay to feel the way you do. Just try not to let it get to you too bad.

Answer

I wouldn’t be ok with him always bringing her up randomly. I just wouldn’t. That’s me though and if you want to meet her. Just tell him, relax and have a lunch date.

Answer

You’re having his baby so I’m guessing you and him are probably pretty serious therefore I would not care about her opinion because you should be the most important women and what she thinks of you should not change how he feels. I’m not saying you should be rude or not try to be friends I just mean, relax 😌 your his women and the mother of his child, she’s a friend. Everything will be okay. Friendships take time to develop. But I would be annoyed that I had to wait to meet her until she was ready so that would make me not like her right off the bat, she’s just being bitchy right away for no reason 🤭

Answer

Be friendly and form a friendship too. Not to interfere with there’s but say you want a good gift for him, someone to reach out too.
My husbands best friend is a girl. She is in a relationship and has baby #2 on the way. She has helped him through a lot before me and with me. I’m glad he has a friend (gender doesn’t matter!) that he can reach out too

Answer

That's a tough one! I can totally understand your feelings and you are completely entitled to them. I'd be uncomfortable for sure. I'm not exactly sure why or for what reason, but yeah I'd have to feel like I could get to know her better so I wouldn't be so insecure about their relationship. 
I do kinda feel like your partner should step in here and either get you two together or introduce you. He should talk great and positive things about the two of you to each other to kinda dissipate any negative impressions too. I'd ask him if he can do this so you two can get to know one another. I don't see why he wouldn't want that too. The happier and easier you feel with their relationship, the better for him. And same with his friend. So yeah, he needs to get on it. It's not your responsibility to initiate it I think when it's his close friend.
Good luck!

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