Husband resents me

My husband has been distant and has pretty much stopped all intimacy recently. I brought it up to him how when he does this it makes me feel insecure because I feel like I’m not enough. He said he resents me because I don’t trust him. He had an emotional affair in March, of course I struggle to trust him. He said he resents that I look at his phone and don’t like the idea of him having social media (Facebook). I don’t like it because that’s what was used to betray me. How can I learn to trust him again when he doesn’t understand that I’m hurt and can’t just trust him blindly because I am scared of getting hurt again? I feel the only way he will change his mind is if I don’t care about his phone or Facebook but then that feels like I have to give up my need for proof that I can trust him. I feel like we’re in a messy spiral that is impossible to get out of. He wants trust—-> to trust him I need to see that I can trust him——> he feels like me seeing that I can trust him is me not trusting him and trying to snoop—-> he resents me for that—-> I don’t receive the intimacy and attention because he resents me and it makes me feel like he’s having another emotional affair so I still can’t trust him. Ugh. Help please.