I realized I officially treat and talk to myself terribly I live in fear constantly that someone will leave me or stab me in the back or ghost me. I’ve been sexually mentally and emotionally abused as a child. I’ve had people I’d been friends with for over ten years completely denounce me as a friend for superficial reasons. I was terribly bullied and harassed in high school. I’ve never been good enough I’ve always been put down. I’ve adopted those skills and ways of talking about myself. Talking down to myself and believing I don’t deserve any better. I don’t know how to dig myself out of this hole. I don’t know how to be and maintain confidence despite all the horrible things I know to be true about myself