Married and separate finances?

Question

Out of curiosity. My husband snd are thinking of splitting finances. Well not so much splitting as each taking like a “fun money” allowance that we could each do what we want with. I’ve seen a lot of things about splitting finances while married as a red flag. Any insight?

Answer

It's only a red flag if it's something that causes you to feel uncomfortable 
If you're both on board with it, feel comfortable with it, are still open with each other regarding finances, and are still willing to share if needed, then it's fine

Answer

My fiancé and I (obviously not married yet but have discussed that we’ll keep it the same at least for now anyway) have our own accounts as well as a joint account. The joint account we put money for all the bills and then any extra if we get a good pay check in case something happens with the house so we have some money. Then our personal accounts are ours to do with whatever we want. Though any big purchases we do discuss first because we do own a house together and we can’t just blow all our money on something without the other being ok with it. This works for us 🤷🏻‍♀️ doesn’t work for everyone obviously but if it works for you then who cares.

Answer

We’ve been married 3.5 years and have always maintained separate finances. We both have good jobs that pay similar salaries, and came into the relationship with savings and no debt (we were 30 when we met). We split all of our bills and expenses, contribute equally to our daughter’s savings, and recently bought property with my parents, but find it easier to just manage our own money. I don’t need to know how much he spends when he goes back to France to see his family, and he doesn’t need to know how much money I spend on plants lol. Makes it easier for gifts to be a surprise too.

Answer

Do what works for y'all, but we would never do this. Our fun money is usually spent together, or at least equally over time.

Answer

We split our house bills based on a % of what we earn (not incl food).
He earns more than double my salary for me to pay half of everything would leave me with very little. So it’s only fair the same % of our wages go on bills that way I have money left over to save or spend on what I want. Then the food shopping we pay 50/50 we put the same amount in an account each month to cover this.
I don’t think any way you split would be a red flag sign it’s just what your both comfortable doing. I’ve had friends that earn hardly anything pay and contribute nothing then get told nothing theirs because the husband pays for it all basically calling them freeloaders and I’ve known women pay half of all bills leaving them with no money to treat themselves makes them feel worthless and have to go without. Also know women who have both salaries paid in to one bank but get asked to justify some spends. Personally the % works for us... I get to spend my money my way with still contributing

Answer

My husband and I have separate accounts and each contribute equally to a shared account. It worked mostly until I worked less after baby but I got a new job and am financially secure again and almost done paying off my credit card. Separate accounts only work if you make around the same amount of money.  Its really up to what you want tho.

Answer

My husband and I have all our money go to our joint account but then we each weekly get spending money for ourselves. But anytime either of us needs (or even wants) something more than our allowance can afford we discuss it and budget for it. So I for instance want some house decor, that can come out of the joint account but if I want to go out to eat with a coworker, that’s fun money.

Answer

It's not a red flag if you're both in agreement. We have completely separate finances. Some of our friends have a joint account, but they each keep some in a personal account - they mostly started that just because it was impossible for the to get surprise gifts for each other without crazy workarounds.

Answer

I don’t think it’s automatically a red flag if someone has separate finances. I also wouldn’t consider just separating fun money out for both of you to be separate finances, especially if everything else is combined. Y’all’s definitions of fun are probably different so it would make sense that you each get to do whatever you want with your fun money.  My husband and I have a combination of separate finances and shared accounts. It works for us.

Married and separate finances?

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