Hello! I am 34 and my husband and I are just beginning to try and have a child. I recently had by birth control implant removed and we are excited to start this next chapter but I have a few fears and unsure who to really talk about it with. I don’t really talk to my mother about personal things because she is a very negative person and I have really worked hard to get out the things she has out into my head over the years and I generally don’t tell her much.

My best friend is 4 years younger than me and has her first child already, she and I talk about everything and support each other through it all (next to our husbands we would have each other in the delivery rooms over anyone else bc we really do calm each other ) but she, like me when she was having these same anxiety’s will just say “it will be ok, don’t worry, I am here for you” which helps but I need a few answers that I know she can’t help with haha.

So I have a energy drink “addiction” I love the Bang brand and I don’t drink coffee and tea does nothing for me. I am a legit 300mg of caffeine a day person. I don’t need it on the weekends or anything but the work week it is my crutch, I am ok with cutting it out no problem (I do from time to time when the effects stop working and I don’t get sick or anything) when I get pregnant but I am worried that as I am in the process of getting pregnant I will be going as normal and find out I am let’s say 2 months pregnant and I have been drinking a ton of caffeine and something happens to the baby. I don’t want to hurt my baby but I also know that making drastic lifestyle changes before conception can be hard and not always recommended, and to do things gradually and naturally. I just have this fear that I will do something wrong and I won’t be able to get pregnant or I do and I lose the baby.

Is this normal thinking or am I just pressing too much anxiety into something I shouldn’t worry about yet, I know plenty of people who were still drinking alcohol before finding out they were pregnant and stopped and everything was ok. I just now I am older, this will be my first and possibly only child and that I feel the pressure since I’m the one growing it that I need to be a perfect vessel and unlike most in life I can’t mess this up and be able to fix it like most mistakes. Thank you for any advice in advance!