In laws that are hard to deal with

I could use some advice from people that have in-laws that are just hard to deal with. For some back story- Hubs and I have been together for 7 years and we have a one year old son together. From the moment they met me, I just haven’t been their cup of tea. And I get it, you can’t be everyone’s. Hubs parents think I ruined their sons life because he settled down with me at 18. We’re 25 now. To them, he never got to experience life. So when we told them we were pregnant, they didn’t take it well at all. They took 3 months to “process” the news. We were already 12 weeks when we told them so they didn’t come around until I was about 6 months. Fast forward to my son being born, we set a couple boundaries that they ignored the moment they met him. We weren’t the first to post his pictures and that immediately pissed me off. He was born early and had NICU time so we asked that no one kiss him. They kissed him seconds after holding him. During breastfeeding, I get told that I’m not sharing him and I make my MIL cry. For awhile, we cut off visits because it just became too much. Once we resumed visits, it was just constant guilt trips. Nothing we did was right in their eyes. They would’ve done this or that. We were denying their grandson their love. Ect. Then Covid hit, so it was honestly nice to have a reason not to see them. Our son has a heart condition so if he gets sick, his body becomes extremely distressed. Usually ending in the ER. His family doesn’t even believe Covid exists. They travel, no masks, parties. So I have been extremely reluctant to visit them. They live 40 minutes away but are actually in another state. We have still seen them at least once a month. And each time it’s “do you even know who I am. Your parents never let you see me”

My parents live 9 hours away and have met him twice. So I think once a month during a damn pandemic is good enough. Now that is the holidays, and Covid is still pretty bad, we’re struggling once again. We opted out of thanksgiving and I’m not sure we will ever hear the end of that one. I want to say no to Christmas but the comments they’re making are making my husband want to give in. They’re having people come from 3 different states. I just don’t feel like exposing my one year old to all of that is worth making them happy, once again But, it seems whenever we say no to an event, it goes back to how I ruined their son, and how he wasn’t like this before he met me, that now I’m holding my son hostage from experiencing life.

What would you do in this kinda situation?

Sorry this was all over the place and if you stuck through to the end, thank you. Happy holidays ladies 💗