I posted this on Reddit and it was well received so I’m posting here! When I was pregnant I always found these kinds of posts helpful and now that I’m 10 months on the other side, I thought I’d share some tips and advice that I’ve learned!

1. You will sleep again. People told me this all the time when I was pregnant and shortly after giving birth and I didn’t believe them, lol. But the reality is, you will! (Side note: the whole “nap when baby naps” is crap. You most likely won’t feel like it, and it’s okay!), What really helped me with getting back sleep was to implement (a gradual) sleep training - as well as putting my daughter in her crib at 6 weeks. I definitely appreciate we all have our own opinions and comfort levels when it comes to this, but hands down, getting her in her own room early on was one of the best decisions we ever made. My girl sleeps 12+ hours a night now and has since 4 months. It’s amazing! Also, one tip here - use overnight diapers. You won’t need them in the beginning because the baby needs to eat through the night so you’re up anyway, but after awhile my daughter was waking up consistently at 4am for several weeks and we thought she was just hungry - nope, she was just wet. When we switched to overnight diapers, she stopped waking up. FULLY RECOMMEND.

2. You may have grand plans to breastfeed and have every intention of sticking with it - but, it’s okay if you change your mind or realize it’s not for you. This was me. I tried my hardest to make it work for 3 weeks, but I had PPD and breastfeeding/pumping was making it worse. I felt extreme guilt, but in that situation, I had to do what was best for me so I could be better for her. She’s adjusted fine and we were happier for it. The hospital system and patient care providers (at least in my experience) really push you to breastfeed and that’s great and I acknowledge why, but sometimes it’s not a good fit for a Mom and if it’s not a good fit for you, there’s no shame in that.

3. This brings me to my next point - and this is important - you will be extremely emotional after giving birth. Your hormones go nuts. People warn you of this, but whoa. If it lasts longer than 2 weeks, go see your OB. I ended up having postpartum depression and it was bad. I recognized that my feelings weren’t normal and saw my OB as soon as I could. She worked with me and I beat it. It took a few months, but I came out the other side and love my baby so very much now.

4. On that same note, you may not feel any sort of connection to your baby at first and that is okay and it is NORMAL. I’m not ashamed to admit that it took me 6 weeks to feel any sort of bond with my daughter. Those first few weeks are pure survival mode. But you’ll get there. You’re not a bad mom if you don’t feel anything right away. It can take time. Give yourself grace.

5. The first 2 weeks are going to be the most brutal, but the first 2 months, generally speaking, are going to be the hardest. Everyone says this; people try to warn you, but nothing fully prepares you until you experience it yourself. You’re going to think “what did I do?” on multiple occasions. You’re going to think each day is the longest day of your life. You’re probably going to cry A LOT. But this leads me to my next point...

6. You WILL get through it. A good piece of advice given to me when I was pregnant was to take those first few months in two week increments. Every two weeks is easier than the last two. You will come out the other side, I promise.

7. You will probably feel disconnected from your husband/significant other in the beginning and it will add to those “what have I done?” feelings. But, again, you will get through it and you’ll slowly find your connection again. Find little moments to spend together. I would just lay on my husbands chest for 5 minutes just to feel close to him during those first few weeks. Over time, you’ll find a routine and structure and you’ll learn your new normal. Just make time to connect, even for 5 minutes a day. Eventually when the baby gets on a routine and starts sleeping through the night, you’ll find time together again. Also, on this same note, the pregnancy feels long while you’re in it, but it truly goes by so fast. When you get down to those last few weeks, make each other a priority. Spend time together, do things together, savor those last few moments just the two of you.

8. Your life is going to change! It will become more complicated. You will miss and mourn your old life. Allow yourself to do so! I still have moments where I miss how carefree and easy my life used to be. But guess what? There is so much good stuff on the horizon, that you will slowly find yourself enjoying this new life you’ve created. Some days will be hard, but many of them will be amazing. Allow yourself the space to miss what once was. I still do sometimes, but I also get really excited thinking about all of things I’m going to experience with my daughter - and you will too.

9. When your baby starts to show their personality and smiles at you and laughs, and becomes more engaging, it’s a game changer. Everyone says this, but it’s true. Around 4 months my baby started to become less “work” and more “fun”. We found a good groove and routine by then and things became more enjoyable and easier. Hang in there. Good things will come.

10. The witching hour! Your baby is going to go through a period every single day where they will cry and cry for most likely a couple hours and you will try EVERYTHING to soothe them. You’ll think something is wrong and you’ll stress and worry, but what I came to learn is that it’s nothing more than the “witching hour”. Aka a period of time during the day where a baby is just upset and you kind of have to ride it out. Yes, try soothing methods, but if nothing works, don’t feel bad! My daughters witching hour was from 9pm-12am every night (which is like thanks girl, you couldn’t do this at like 6pm?), and I used to just drive her around in the car because it was the only way to get her to stop crying). Power through. It passes! When needed - gripe water was also a bit helpful for us for the crying (and for gas and hiccups - they’re seriously a cure for hiccups!).

11. I never appreciated pregnancy and giving birth until I went through it. Women are amazing. We give LIFE. Celebrate that!

You’re amazing mommas! If you need to chat or ask any questions about life “on the other side” do not hesitate to message me!