How do you let go and move on? Heart hurts😭

Question

How do you let go of someone you know isnt good for you? I've known him for a year and half and know hes a narcissist. But it's so hard for me to let go because when things are good, they're really good and I feel really happy. I dont have many friends and my family is overseas so being with him fills that gap of loneliness and it's hard for me to connect with people but hes one of the rare ones I connected with and hes also all of my firsts. I know this is bad for me and I'm pretty sure hes seeing multiple people now because recently, hes barely been talking and only meeting once a week if even that. If I question it, he says he cares and wants me to be in his life but his actions never follow. I've decided to cut him out of my life for good but last time I tried, I went 4 months before going back to him and I dont want to go back again. What helped you guys move on from someone who wasnt good for you? My heart hurts in a way it's never hurt before and I dont know what to do. I can't imagine life without him but being with him is causing too much grief

Answer

Knowing that you are so worthy of someone that treats you right, knowing that you will cross paths with someone like that. Once you've made the decision to choose for yourself and close this chapter, new doors open and there is room again for someone else to enter your life. 
Also there is no-one that can fill up your loneliness, only yourself. Allow yourself to feel the pain and take all the time for your heart to heal.

Answer

What helped me move on from someone like that was meeting my now husband. Value yourself. I know it must be hard to date during a pandemic but try to meet new people, even if online, that can help you get your mind off of him. You need guys that will value you and want to be with you. Even if you think things are good sometimes, they can be even better with someone that actually loves you.

Answer

Hey! I commented on your last post! And all that is totally understandable. Listen, people who quit smoking or drinking don’t often succeed the first time. 🤷🏼‍♀️ That’s why it’s not just a decision once and for all, it’s a decision you have to continue to make.
I know with people it seems different, but with narcissists I don’t really value them more than addictions much as actual drugs. They please you on surface level but fuck you up on a deeper one. Same as drugs, imo.
They don’t know themselves nor what they want, they just use you to fuel their ego. It’s super sad, actually. I’ve dealt with many narcissists and they could never get help without therapy, if even. If you know he’s a narcissist, hope it already lost. 
You’ve already said why he fills the gaps. You don’t have friends and things to do. I guarantee you’ve thought about hobbies and things you want to do every once in a while, you just don’t write them down and forget about them. Start writing them down and doing them! Researching! It will change your life to have value outside of thinking about a narcissist, who will want you to only think about them. What you’re doing - suffering - is what he wants.
Also, I had a breakup from a long-term relationship right before Covid lockdown. The pain I went through, being stuck at home... I cried all the time at everything. I wouldn’t be thinking about anything, the sun would go down and I would just start crying. You’ll be okay. The pain passes. It especially passes when you learn to fall in love with yourself and the things you can do with your life without anyone else influencing it! I wish that’s what people around me would have told me! I would have healed faster if someone had been listening to what I had been missing all throughout.
I don’t know what you’ve been missing but find it. You’ll fall in love with yourself very quickly when you start doing the things you’ve been holding back from!

How do you let go and move on? Heart hurts😭

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