I have been starting to read more and more about toxic parents and realize I definitely have them and as an adult I will say it has AFFECTED me.

The more I read the more I’m like wow that is my situation or I am like that because I was never really given much affirmation.

It’s actually become harder and harder to maintain this now that I am in a serious relationship. I’m actually so scared I’m going to scare my boyfriend away with how toxic my parents can be towards me because it affects me a lot. It affects my moods, my self esteem, etc. thankfully I’m in a healthy relationship and my boyfriend is great and all but I’m scared he will be scared off by them.

I should mention I still live with my parents and they can be controlling AF. My boyfriend still lives with his as well. So sometimes my parents get in my head or try their hardest to control me in any possible way. I’m in therapy, but it’s virtual due to Covid so I can’t even really dive in about my parents honestly because they are here at the house.

My mom is obsessed with retirement and is making me save half of my paycheck for retirement when I should be saving half of my paycheck to move the fuck out. Lmao why am I doing that? Probably to please my parents, but it is never good enough for them.

I’m just scared I’m going to lose my boyfriend in all of this. I feel kind of disconnected from him and I wouldn’t be surprised if he broke up with me. My mom pushed me over the edge last weekend and I called my boyfriend crying about it. I just don’t want to be too much.

I think I need to be more honest in therapy too. Open and honest about how I grew up and how my parents can be truly awful. It’s definitely hurt my mental health and my development.