NOT WIFE MATERIAL?

Question

Ok quick rant... maybe not so quick but here it goes. Ok so me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 6 years. We have a 3 year old son and a baby girl on the way. I’ve been a stay at home mom every since I have birth to our son and my boyfriend has made sure to take great care of us. Nice home, makes sure we have all our wants and needs met. Literally will do anything for me... BUT why hasn’t he proposed to me yet? We use to talk about it but then we stopped, things went a little sour so we both put the conversation on hold. For
The last year I’ve been feeling like I want marriage again and I’ve communicated that with him. We planned our daughter and our son was somewhat planned. I don’t understand what’s the hold up. I see everyone else around me getting engaged / married and I’m truly happy for them BUT I can’t help to think why not me... like not even a proposal 🤔 he tells me all the time how I’m such a great woman , blah blah! And I know I am. He’s invested in my business, pretty much everything a husband and wife would do but no marriage in the works. I’m not necessarily in a rush to be married ( I’m 24, he’s 29) but at the same time it’s like well damn, not even a proposal yet? And it makes me so mad when ppl ask “when are yal getting married” , “Girl it’s been years, why aren’t yal married?” Well I damn sure won’t be getting down on my knee so why even ask me that lol. I haven’t discussed this with him but I’ve been thinking after I have the baby, maybe I’ll move out into my own place until we decide what we are
Doing because I don’t want to just be a girlfriend or just be the mother of his children. I think I deserve more than that. His mom always makes comments about us getting married and saying stuff like “Wow, if something happens to him, you don’t even get a say in anything, girlfriends don’t have benefits” and I think about that a lot and it’s true. I think what topped it off tonight was seeing my sister get engaged and she hasn’t even been with her man for a year and I’m just like well damn is he really just not trying to marry me? What do you ladies think, has anyone been through something similar?

Answer

I recently married after 7 years in a relationship with NO children(sadly but hopeful that will change)..I understand how you feel. I literally bugged him for two years to get a date for the wedding. But don't settle  you have every right to be a wife .(alil motivation that help was wherever  we were around family and they asked when we are getting married I always said "asked him im ready ")

Answer

He might be waiting until the kids are older or saving more. Maybe he think you aren’t ready but you have to talk about it. Life gets busy so maybe ask him when he sees the wedding happening or if that’s happening...don’t ask about engagement ask about the wedding.

Answer

He could just be scared. Give it some time hun. I understand your frustrations. I've been married twice so I can see the wanting to wait part because marriage does change things. Idk why but it just does. Maybe try talking to him about it ? Just let him know your feelings.

Answer

You need to have a talk, a proper sit down with no distractions and explain how you feel and how not being engaged makes you feel. And you need to listen to how he feels, maybe he’s happy and scared to change the relationship or he can’t afford the wedding he thinks you want, or he just doesn’t want to be married because he thinks it’s pointless and he loves you without a piece of paper and a blo he’s out ring.
Thinking about moving out says to me you’re not fully invested in the relationship, I’m not saying you aren’t, just to me that’s what it suggests, and you need to think if you do move out is he going to think you’re ending the relationship? You’ve been together a long time to suddenly just leave. Also, would you expect him to still pay for everything if you’re choosing to move out for a while, if you’re leaving he might not want to pay for two households. 
If you’re wanting an engagement and marriage and he isn’t, and neither of you can compromise then ultimately the relationship isn’t going to work, but you have to talk it through.

Answer

I been with my dude for 4 years but he was married before and it didn’t work out and ended bad. He says he wants to marry me but he went through a lot with his first marriage and he doesn’t want anything to happen to us. We’re great where we are but I do want a ring or at least a vow from him. I don’t need the whole nine yard. I don’t need a wedding I just want his last name lol. But I’m patient and I still use his last name just not on documents lol. Don’t move out but talk to him and be real don’t bash him tho. He might want to save for a nice ring or maybe he thinks he’s not enough for u. Some men really think about it and it hurts them too. Ask him why and don’t pressure him. He could be going through his own shit. U just never no. But don’t threaten to leave.. it’ll crush him.

Answer

That's really something only he can answer for you.

NOT WIFE MATERIAL?

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