I’ve really been struggling emotionally with this pregnancy. I want to preface by saying I am so excited to be a mom and I cannot wait to hold this little girl in my arms, but until then it’s hard.

I lost 60 pounds about a year ago in an effort to become a healthier individual. I felt better and I looked better. My husband and I found out we were pregnant in August and I was thrilled at first, but then the weight gain started. I’m 12 pounds heavier at 20 weeks and six days and every little pound gained gives me so much anxiety. I can’t stand gaining the weight even though I understand it’s supposed to be a natural and beautiful thing.

My mom doesn’t seem to understand, she keeps telling me how “beautiful” it is and my husband keeps asking if I think I’ll “ever come to accept it” or “why not just be excited?”. Then I’ve had friends who ask me “oh but what about the weight loss?” when I tell them I’m pregnant as if my crowning achievement in life was losing weight and not starting a family. Then one of my coworkers had come up to me and said “oh you’re showing!” When I’d only gained about five pounds I still feel awful about it.

The point is I’m miserable and anxious about the weight gain and I don’t know how to feel better. People are annoying about it and I wish I could come with a sign over my head that said “please don’t comment about my weight, I’m aware that I’m pregnant”. Does anyone else understand what I’m saying? Again, it’s not that I’m not happy to be a mother, this is our first baby and I am so excited to meet this little person, but I wish I could just skip to that part.

I walk, cycle, and run when I can and did before I was pregnant, is there anything else you guys do to get your endorphins up?