How to find a good man..?

Question

So I’m 20 years old.. I have a 8 month old son. My baby daddy isn’t around so I’m raising him on my own.. I just want to find my baby a good step dad and have someone because I feel like I deserve it but I can only find men who just wanna fuck and/or are bums ... I don’t understand how these women find good men who financially support them and treat them right like that’s literally all I want. But I can never find it and I’m a good person so I just don’t get why .. I really think it’s because I have a kid and that’s why they don’t want me

Accepted Answer

You want someone to financially support you? Big yikes 🥴
You’re 20. You’re still young. I suggest working on yourself & being the best you can be.

Answer

I found my husband when I was actively avoiding looking for men. It sounds like you need to focus a bit on yourself, and becoming the best, independent mom you can be. Never worry about anyone else financially supporting you. That kind of attitude may be why you’re finding bad men, as well.

Answer

You aren’t  looking for a husband or a partner you are looking for a sugar daddy

Answer

If I were you I wouldn't be financially depending on anyone. Your child comes 1st now and you cant risk being left high and dry by someone who doesn't have to take financial responsibility for you or your child.

Answer

Girl don’t listen to these comments chastising you saying you’re wrong for wanting financial support. After an awful end to a bad relationship ship, I found a man exactly like what you described. 
He bought me a house, let me choose any and all renovations, did the renovations on his nights and weekends after work. I have never paid on a date. He opens doors for me. He buys me beautiful things and takes me on trips. He’s funny and considerate. Here’s how I got him. 
1) I kept my legs closed. 
2) I assessed all of the men that were interested in me and chose the one that loved ME the most. The one that was 100% consistent.  
3) Left any and all ideas of “my type” behind because my type used to be asshole bad boys. 
4) Told myself it’s okay to be truly loved and treated well. 
5) Listened to only actions and not words. 
We’ve been together for 3 years. He would have married me 3 years ago if I had been ready (I took things slow as I was still “scarred” from my prior relationship). 
We’re moving into my dream house and have our first baby on the way. 
I want for nothing. I never have to worry about money. Being with a man like him allows me to relax and just focus on being a woman, being pregnant, and becoming a mama. 
There are MANY good men out there. Don’t listen to these feminists telling you that you don’t need a man or that you shouldn’t want a man to take care of you. I have never felt happier, more loved, or more relaxed. 
I have the utmost love and respect for this man, and feel honored to carry on his family legacy. If it was possible for me it’s possible for you. I promise.

Answer

even those girls that find someone to support them financially the boys are sometimes cheaters or jealous freaks or controlling. Just focus on your life and get a good paying job or finish school if you can. when you have your shit together guys will come snd find that attractive. they will know your not someone to mess around with because you are independent.

Answer

Make a list of as many of the good qualities that your looking for in a man. Then set about working on yourself until you have achieved that list yourself. Lots of times we find partners that are a reflection of where we see ourselves at that time. You sound like your not really at your best right now. I think you need to take control of ur own life. Like start taking college classes, even at a community college if that’s possible. If you have any idea of what field you would enjoy working in focus on that and get urself some higher education. There are lots of scholarships and grants available and the financial aid office should be able to help you if u need it. That will be an investment into your future and ur sons future. You might feel behind in life but your still so young. You literally have ur whole life ahead of you right now. You can do this I know you can! Get some schooling and find yourself a career that will support your and ur boy. Make urself into the best version of you that u possibly can. I know that at some point along this journey u will meet someone that is also working to better themselves. They won’t be trying to mooch off of you. Please don’t waste your time being with someone that is just constantly taking from you and not giving back also. It’s not worth it trust me on this. I’m sorry this was a novel. I don’t know u but I have so much faith in you. You can make ur life into what you want it to be, it will take hard work but u can do it! And you won’t be alone, u will find a man someday that loves u and treats u and ur son the way u both deserve. 💕

Answer

I found my current husband when I wasn’t even looking. I was working on myself trying to love myself again after leaving an emotionally abusive relationship. I was in nursing school, working, etc. he came along and was my Prince Charming. 3 years later were married trying for our own baby. And he’s an amazing step dad for my daughter (her dads in the picture) but regardless. I found him looking for myself.

Answer

Girl, it’s all in time. I was a single mom of two for 4 years. I went through stages of being lonely etc but honestly when I stopped caring about having a step dad and a husband, I literally found him. 
I found mine at my church. It was an immediate connection, didn’t have to force anything. 
We got married a year ago and 3 months ago, he adopted my kids❤️ He seriously loves them like his own flesh a d it’s the greatest. 
Don’t rush anything. Learn to live and love yourself. Just keep your momma mode up and one day it all will fall into place! 
Wish you all the love in the world, sis!

Answer

Don’t listen to some of these women, there’s nothing wrong with finding a man who’s financially secure, in fact that’s a nice bonus....however it’s also important to have your own financials in line for yourself and your child, biggest mistake ever is to rely on another for financial support that’s how you wind up stuck...always have your own game plan in line.