The icy December air bit through the car as I navigated the icy roads."yes mum," Lucy snapped to the speakerphone. "Look we have sat nav,"

"Oh those damn things you'll end up in Mongolia."

"Look Al is driving we are making good time we will be there before dark."

" well make sure you are i have enough to worry about without you two going missing .at least Benjamin has already arrived." A honk snapped me out of my brain blip as the sound of bens name caused me to swerve into a lane of upcoming traffic."

" what the hell Al?"

I glowered at Lucy , " Ben will be there , she at least had the decency to look slightly sheepish

"Of course he's my brother.look mom were fine ill call you when we reach the farm." She said cutting off the call.

"Why didn't you tell me he would be here?"

"Because your my best friend and I knew that if you found out you wouldn't come and I dont want you spending Christmas alone. "

"But..."

"No." She cut me off " are you honestly still embarrassed about that thing with nick I mean what was that now 5 years ago embarrassing yes but sweetie just get over it."I sat back silently seething of course it was no big deal in her mind but mine it was far from it.

I remembered the pity invite for Christmas as my parents were away and so it was just me and my jack ass step brother unless Lucy's family offered us a Christmas which of course they did. And it was wonderful the house was warm and merry everyone was happy and content and of course Ben was there.Ben Lucy's twin brother who I had know for about 5 years and had a crush on for about 5 years. Totally secretly well I hoped so anyway.ben honestly just seemed to think I spent my entire life blushing. But no it was just his baby blue eyes dark hair and, no no no must not think like that but as he saw me he smiled and his whole face suddenly lit up and niagra falls started in my pants. I felt my cheeks start to blush as he waved I just gave a weak attempt at a smile and scuttled off after Lucy. We dropped our bags in our room and instantly Ben knocked his head poiking around the door all decent.

" no ."lucy said sternly, Al is about to strip naked cover herself in cranberry sauce and swing from the ceiling fan singing Santa's coming to town."

"Excellent i would hate to miss that." He said bouncing into the room and flopping himself down on the bed."carry on ." He said looking at me with his blu eyes sparkling.

" Ben did you want something?" Lucy said Sounding weary."

" yes Christmas movie is starting in half an hour."

"Oh and what is it today."

"Die hard."

"Not a Christmas film."

" what!" Me and Ben answered in unison

"Totally wrong there Luce." I said brightly,

"See ally gets it." He said jumping up and offering me his arm , "milady." I couldn't help giggling as I took it and headed down to the living room.

The following day passed merrily with Ben sitting next to me on the sofa so close i could feel the heat radiating off him. I felt my shyness melt away little by little even though I still blushed everytime I caught his eye. In the early evening I was in the kitchen getting a drink and when I emerged to see a confused looking Ben pulling the shiny paper off a gift Nick had passed him. Nick smiled widely as Ben pulled out a small battered book that I could see was filled with small pink post it notes.Ben frowning began to open it as my heart stopped .my diary Nick had given him my fucking Diary and believe me it had him mentioned more than a little ! Ben lifted his eyes to me looking puzzled as I decided to be totally grown up about it and turned running out of the room.

I thought I had found the perfect hiding place until Ben joined me an hour later.pulling himself up into the tree house easily. " hey" he said brightly as if this was a common place to hang out.

"Hi."

"I brought you something" he said holding out my diary that I snatched it from his hand. " you shouldn't be embarrassed Its a good read." He said brightly.

" you read it ." I squeaked of course I knew he had obviously read some but fuck how much.

" just a little ." He said softly , " your lucky im so humble or it would have seriously given me a big head. Dont worry about it Ali we have all have crushes in our teens."

" that's my current diary." I muttered. Ben sighed,

" I know I was giving you an out babe."

" oh." I said suddenly feeling stupid. I sighed " you know what I dont want an out .I'm sick of being in love with you and pretending I dont its fucking exhausting and I dont care that you now think I'm pathetic believe me I've been prepared for that for the last 5 years. Which is why I never said anything but now you know its actually a relief."

Ben smiled, " well I'm not going to lie Ali I have honestly never thought of you that way your just Lucy's mate but.."

" what ?" I asked looking at him he was looking at me thoughtfully and I felt my breath freeze as he leaned across the space between us pressing his lips to mine gently.

Just an intro next part will be hotter I promise .please like or comment ❤