So, I hate this feeling. I have to say, it’s not something I feel too often. It takes a lot for me to get triggered about things, and I feel so wrong for my feelings.

My husband and I have been TTC seriously since the beginning of the year. (We also tried the “not preventing it” method for years and it didn’t work) This year I’ve had tests done, uterine biopsies, countless ultrasounds, about 6 rounds of Clomid/letrozole, and now just did my first trigger shot.

So, it’s funny—I have a close friend who is pregnant and i am super happy for her, not an ounce of jealousy. But, I also have a cousin who is pregnant (she’s more like a little sis to me), and I’m starting to feel those nasty jealous feelings towards her. She got pregnant on accident (never wanted kids), and I am/was so happy for her...I cried. However, once things got serious, she picked out the same name I had on my list, her baby nursery theme is what I had dreamed of (not exact but super close), etc. She’s my little cousin, and we always had a lot in common. But it’s still hard to see her buying/getting the same items I’ve been eyeing myself. I also sent her a pregnancy care package when she first found out, and she didn’t even say thank you.

I know this is petty. I know it’s childish. I am just sad—when each month comes and goes and I’m still not pregnant, I feel like giving up.

Sorry to vent, but I hope someone else out there understands. ❤️❤️