Am I wrong?

Question

My s/o & I had a baby almost three months ago. Since then I feel like he doesn’t take his role seriously. He drinks almost every night, not wasted, but obnoxious & laughy. He will play Xbox with his buddies and they do “chug when we win” type things. He said he wants to trip on acid on New Years..  I was like you can’t? Like we have a baby why don’t you ever ask me if that’s cool. Why do you just assume I’ll take over while you always do what you want? I try to talk to him and he’s like “okay yep” and is super condescending. Acts like I’m insulting his parenting when I’m not trying to, but like come on. I wouldn’t just be like oh yeah btw screw my mom duties I’m trippin in a few days. He’s always like “yep can’t do anything I want anymore right” like super sarcastically like ... yes you can’t lol like that’s how it goes when their young like this. You be a parent first.

Answer

Imagine if you both did this. Your child would be taken away from you.
I’d leave temporarily and give him time to get his priorities in line. If he can’t then I’d just focus on baby and do what’s right for you both

Answer

He's not parenting. He's dumping all of that on you. You're not insulting him, you're calling him on his shit though probably not being as harsh about it as he needs you to be.

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If you don't do something drastic about his behavior now, it will never change.  Do you want to love the rest of your life this way?  He needs to grow up and pick his priorities.

Answer

My partner did this our son was his first now fast forward 5 years is more hands on and actually wants to stay home lol. It does get better.

Answer

I mean that sounds like in his fear of everything changing, he's rebelling and just doing all the things he can so whenever you're like wth? He can roll his eyes in sarcasm of how his life is over that he has a kid now. Id sit down and talk to him at a time when he is not drinking, not surrounded by his friends etc. Where its just you and him and you have a real discussion about what a baby means. It took two of you to make it, its about being a team to raise it. You can't raise it with another kid as your teammate. Also can you imagine him high and just tripping out and picking up the baby? Like my palms are sweaty just from the anxiety of picturing it. I would not be near him when he is prioritizing his own selfish, childish fun and not aware of his surroundings.

Answer

Not wrong. But you still won’t be able to control him. Get him out of your house. From personal experience, it’s not fun raising a child with a person like this. You’re better off without him around. He needs to grow the F up. I’ve experimented with psychedelics lots in my life, but when I conceived my daughter, I left that life behind because she’s my main priority.

Answer

Unfortunately your partner is still thinking he’s in a frat house not that he’s a grown-up who needs to contribute to the household and help you raise your child. He should be changing diapers and getting up with you etc. instead of thinking he still either living in his moms basement or front house. That’s basically what you have somebody who is irresponsible and just wants to have fun. He makes you the bad guy, and doesn’t want anything to do with you or the child apparently. I think he regrets having the child and doesn’t want the responsibility of it unfortunately. I think you’re raising this child on your own basically so you might as well be alone if you have friends or family you can go home to Honestly I would. You are seeing his true colors. His sarcastic comments he mean sucks. Making him a priority etc. Unfortunately when you become a parent your identity changes which it has for you but it has not for him. You make that child a priority, you I don’t care if you lose sleep you don’t care what you have to do for that child. He still in the dating mode he thinks that you need to cater to him and that you make him a priority and he’s the baby and he gets what he wants. Unfortunately he never made the shift. He doesn’t have that maternal Parental instinct like you do￼. Unfortunately my brother is him, he’s a deadbeat dad, he lives in my basement, my mother enables him, he’s bipolar and schizophrenic amongst other things, he had a child 18 years ago who it was born blind and autistic, he thinks a phone call a year is sufficient enough to be a father in his mind he is super dad he literally has a T-shirt that says it, one of his stupid girlfriends from the internet gave it to him for Father’s Day one year. He doesn’t do squat for his son, he doesn’t pay child support, and he’s lucky that we take care of him otherwise he would probably be in jail, he can’t keep a job, you name it, plays video games all night, has no concept of reality or responsibility. ￼ You are not wrong, I don’t think he ever wanted the baby, and I think you’re raising this kid on your own so you might as will be alone.  You need to fill out the paperwork at the family court for custody and child support if you want it, and either give him the boot or leave.

Am I wrong?

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