Heartbroken It’s hard just to get up 💔☹️

My husband died 6 years ago . He was a commercial fisherman the vessel capsized he was lost at sea no body to bury i grieved him for 6 years. I had family members telling me it’s time to go back out there you are still young . In April a cousin and I was just chatting on the phone and she brought up my first love .He was my first boyfriend first everything I’ve loved him all my life but we broke up when I we were 20. She was telling me how were were great together and I should call him . Silly me huh? I called him he was so happy it’s like we never miss anytime apart even though we broke up 20 years ago . We started a relationship and I was so happy because this was someone I knew and from that April morning to a couple weeks ago things were perfect .

Well I thought it was until he stopped calling all of a sudden he’s too busy never anytime for me too busy in the daytime and so tired at night . I begged him to tell me what I did he ignored me but kept telling me he loves me and everything is ok . We made plans to get married he introduced me to his 8 year old daughter we were long distance but we talked all day until he changed . We made so many plans one was to open a bar in our home country were he lives . But he stopped talking about all the plans I would send him money to help with credits for his phone since it was easier that way to talk on WhatsApp but after awhile I got tired of it . One day he put up a flier on his WhatsApp it’s for a party for the bar that’s having a grand opening and the flier had some girl on it . He sent me a message oh don’t worry she’s just going to be the bartender it’s ok we’re ok . But nothing changed he still wasn’t calling just texting . 2 weeks ago a tornado hit my city right over my house little damage I called him he was so sweet but different. Love you baby he said wish I was there with you that was a Friday by the Saturday no calls again . It was Sunday that I went on Instagram and the devil told me to look on his page she’s not just the bartender it’s two pictures he posted of him and her all hugged up as a couple . I don’t know how to breathe . This is a guy I grew up with . Since I was 15 years old my first kiss my virginity . We are soulmates he said I love you baby we are meant to be . He shattered my heart and I don’t know how to go on . It’s so hard just to get up in the morning how do you get over something like this ?. I just feel like giving up .