I don’t know what to do anymore

I have PCOS and tried for 3 years to get pregnant before finally getting pregnant. I always thought I’d be excited during pregnancy but instead I’m constantly anxious and close to tears. I’m terrified of something going wrong and it’s definitely affecting my relationship towards my pregnancy and baby. I just want everything to be okay and I’m so scared that it isn’t.

I have such a hard time believing everything is okay unless I’m at the doctor’s and we hear the heartbeat. Then I’m only good for an hour or two before my anxiety kicks back in. I haven’t had any worrying symptoms except for a few instances of spotting but I’m so scared.

I don’t wanna look up baby stuff or anything because I’m so scared that I’m gonna jinx it even though I’m over 12 weeks. I just never know what to do and I’m so tired of not being happy and crying every day. I don’t know what to do. Somebody please help me.