Fall back in love?

Question

I’m looking to see if anyone’s ever been through a similar experience and what they did. I’ve been with my husband for 11 years married for 5. We have two kids and one of our babies was critically ill for 6 months due to congenital heart disease, she’s doing well now and is 1.5 I love my spouse, he’s my best friend. But I’m not sexually attracted to him right now, not for any reason but I feel some of our spark is gone I don’t want to say I’m not in love with him but I don’t feel passionately about him and our relationship has started to feel like more of a friendship. We do still have sex a couple time’s a week but I do it because it makes him happy and I’m not super into it. My marriage is very important to me and I want to get back on the right track but I don’t know how?? Has anyone been through this?

Answer

I remember years ago before I got into relationships I wanted to know everything I possibly could. I came across this series they also have books, and it’s about each of you working on the relationship. They have a set for men and a set for women, and it teaches you how to rekindle the flames of love, from complementing each other from reassuring each other from all different aspects. Relationships are what you make them. Obviously been together for 11 years, it’s not like they one every single day for you. At initial spark and excitement when things are new. Never stop dating your partner. Appreciating the little things, often times we stop appreciating our partner and complementing them and having that initial same feelings that you had in the beginning. When life gets complicated and you have children and you have in-laws and you have health issues etc. your relationship gets put on the back burner unfortunately because stress, kids, everything takes to the forefront. Before children and everything, you are each other’s baby, each other’s priority, you baby him, you take care of him, you take care of each other, you flirt with each other or you appreciate every little thing. When everything else gets in the way, it affects the relationship unfortunately, you do become like friends, sex may die down,￼ things get comfortable and unfortunately a lot of times once they get you, they stop making that same effort that they did in the beginning to get you and pursue you. Maybe some marriage counseling would help, being each other‘s escape from reality rather than what you want to escape from. Adding some spark back into your life, whether that is in the bedroom or outside of the bedroom, we stop having fun with our partner, we stop doing things that we used to do that were fun in the beginning or when  we were kids. Life gets too serious and we stop enjoying each other’s company and instead would rather be alone and watch whatever shows we need to catch up on or play games on our phones or video games etc. in our spare time. Sometimes you just need to add spice back into your life, pretending to be strangers and picking each other up at a bar or a restaurant, going on dates, slow dancing, taking a walk hand-in-hand, laying the seats back and opening the sub roof and looking up at the stars and kissing and cuddling like teenagers. We forget what used to be fun and exciting, we forget who we are when we become parents, we lose our identity, we’re no longer you and I, we are so-and-so‘s parents. We forget to take care of ourselves we neglect ourselves we put everyone first but you can’t pour from an empty cup. Do you things that make you feel good, that make you feel good about yourself, have date nights, talking not just on the surface how’s the weather but talking about things going on in your life, things that went on in your past. Things you’re afraid of, things from your childhood, get to know your partner all over again because sometimes they’ve become a different person as time went on, they’ve adapted and become someone else and sometimes you don’t even recognize that person especially when you end up with an empty nest, it’s like your roommates getting to know each other all over again. It’s important to keep the love alive. And have fun together, both inside and outside the bedroom. Sometimes talking dirty, being his phone sex operator, being his stripper, when he walks past smack him on the ass, have fun together flirt together enjoy each other’s company. Maybe talking to a sex therapist or a relationship counselor of some sort. I hope things get better.￼￼￼

Fall back in love?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey