Final Baby 😩

I’m just sitting here in a puddle of tears thinking about the past 9 years of my life. I’m pregnant with our final baby (#4) and am just a wreck. My HG has drastically decreased the earliest time ever (18 weeks....normally it lasts until delivery). So, I’m crying because I’m so proud of myself for having four pregnancies that are nothing like the normal, happy experience we all dream of. Proud of myself for being a mommy to three kids while feeling like I may die most days.....while having to homeschool two of them! Crying because I (hopefully) never have to feel that way again. This baby is our true rainbow baby (lost two pregnancies, my dad and my grandma this year), so she is just so special to me. Not to mention, I started feeling her move the earliest I’ve ever felt any of my babies....SIXTEEN weeks! Then tonight, she was bundled up on one side and I felt her move (on the outside with my hand).....so I’m crying about THAT because I realized it’s the beginning of the final “firsts.” Damn....sorry for rambling, I’m just really effing thankful (and emotional apparently). 🙏🏼